Why do I bother? Well I wouldn’t be giving the slightest for writing this entire post only if it wasn’t for the fact that all the rumors about him cheating on his girlfriend (and by sweet I do really mean it) wasn’t true. But unfortunately it is.

Shame on you.

I was all excited when I told my So-Call Friend (SCF):

LB: Hey! I just signed up for WordCamp.
SCF: Oh, is that a writer's workshop? You could really use some work in that area.
LB: Gee, thanks. No, it's a blogger's conference.
SCF: Oh. OK. Why?
LB: Because I blog. I want to get some tips on being a better blogger.
SCF: (pulling up my most recent post). Oh look, a picture of your cat. You blog about cats. You are a cat blogger . . . geez, what are you feeding him?
LB: I'm not just a cat blogger. I . . .
SCF: . . . also write about your rabbit. Sorry, I forgot.
LB: Yeah, and your point is? Maybe I want to be the best damn cat and rabbit blogger there is!
SCF: Knock yourself out . . . seriously, is that really a cat?

So tomorrow at the crack o' dawn, I'm going to jump into the deep end of the blogger's pool.  Gee, I wonder if we get to make gimp keychains?

But something definitely changed. Suddenly, none of my so-called friends are communicating with me. No one's texting me anything I would deem substantial. Actually, make that no one is texting me, period. Similarly, no one's replying to my infinitesimal number of vapid queries about random stuff in my pathetic life. None on Facebook or MySpace either. And I know it's just my overly active neuroses talking, but I worry that everything bad I've ever said about my social life has finally come true. I really am friendless and alone now.

I don't know why this has come about, but a couple of theories come to mind. It's possible that my so-called friends have finally figured out how pathetic I really am, and decided to avoid me like the plague, hoping that whatever I got hasn't rubbed off on them yet. Or maybe they've realized I haven't been completely true with them, that I've been putting on this amicable face towards them. Maybe somehow they got around to talking and decided to hate me all at once. I'm not really sure how to respond to that, if that is the case, since I've thought the same about them from Day 1. Or maybe I do know how to respond to that more than I think. It could very easily be that they're only trying to find ways to hate me. They are those kinds of people.

My other theory is that maybe they've somehow developed super-hacking abilities and managed to trace this seemingly random blog back to me. Or that there's been a recent outbreak of mutant radioactivity, and I just happened to be out of the loop from being stuck in my little hell hole for so long. Maybe they can now read minds or see into the future, and know just exactly how I feel about them. Or maybe I'm the mutant. Maybe I've developed this ability where I just project my own thoughts into other people's thoughts without my knowledge and it's why my so-called friends are avoiding me, becasue they know exactly what I think of them and/or they don't want to be associated with the mutant freak. I choose to believe this rationale instead, the geek in me tells me so. Yeah, I'm going with this explanation.

Today is supposed to be the luckiest for everyone, feng shui-wise. Of course I would be that one exception.

As with all my plans with her, there’s always the tantamount possibility of rainchecks and cancellations, so the need to wait for at least a text confirmation is virtually mandatory. The plan was to go yesterday. I waited, and no text came. I highly doubt that she would decide not to go, as she was desperate for this job. I worried that what had transpired on her end was pretty simple– she bailed. Just like that. No text messages, no calls.

It’s not like I have every reason to believe this is the case, after all, I do tend to be a bit neurotic about these things due to my severe abandonment issues brought about by my estranged father, and the fact that as to the reasons why our plans didn’t push through, all I have are assumptions. But here’s the thing: I have enough on my plate to cite as evidence that she’s done it before. One of which, the most recent, involved excluding me from a ‘nightout’ on purpose and her thinking I was stupid enough not to find out. Call it petty and immature and stupid, but I like my “friends” to actually ‘want’ me around and not take me for granted. Since I’m sensitive and shit, it lead to a long, overdrawn fight. Okay, it wasn’t really a fight, it was more like a silent quarrel, meaning I gave her the silent treatment as much as possible without letting on that I was upset (I’m a spoiled and bratty only child who grew up in a repressed household with no friends, this is how I express myself now that I’m all grown up). But I guess I was more transparent about my feelings than I would have liked, and she wasn’t as dense as I assumed her to be, because she somehow felt the tension in my cold and uncaring responses to her txt messages or calls, and my constant excuses as to why I couldn’t meet with her for lunch or coffee or whatever. In her defense, she did say she was sorry. But who the fuck cares? It’s not like she meant it. Besides, I like to hold grudges.

Of course as time wore on, I got over it. Translation: shoved the repressed emotions deep in the bowels of my mind without discussing the issue or actually verbalizing my true feelings or thoughts, even my forgiveness (it was my thing, and everyone knows it). And now that we’re on speaking terms again, I had hoped she had learned her lesson. But I guess I just wear my heart on my sleeve because she’s done it again, and I’m paralyzed with emotion because I fell for her crap, and by crap I meant bullshit, and by bullshit I meant what we have toward each other that she thinks passes for friendship. What upsets me more is that I keep telling myself that I now know better, and I won’t give all of myself. But I do, I always do. And now, I find myself doing a 360, and I’m back on square one. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle with her, and it just makes me feel like shit. I just don’t understand why I keep being her friend and doing this to myself. It’s not like she’s ever concerned about me, or sincerely apologized for not being concerned about me. She sees and treats me only as a ”last resort” friend, someone to call on when there’s absoutely no one else to turn to. Someone who will listen to her shallow problems just because I’m more of a loser than she is. Someone she will never ever take to the ‘happening’ places because she thinks I’m not cool enough and she is. And she has the audacity to think that I don’t notice all her shit!

Well fuck that and fuck her. This whole thing with her is just seriously getting redundant now, and I’m fucking sick and tired of it. I can’t stand her, and I can’t put up with her bullshit anymore. I feel like around each other and our other so-called friends, we’re posers trying to pretend that we like each other. It’s pathetic, is what our relationship is. It’s another reason I get to be depressed about, and she doesn’t.

G, go screw yourself.

Watch your mouth, watch what you say.
Move aside, don't get in my way.
Ain't got time for messing around,
I’m here to do my thing
here to get my swing.
Life's too short for wasted energy,
so if you can't come right
don't come by me.

...Y me miró con los ojos inyectaditos en sangre, y yo dije "pero cari... ¡estás llen@ de mierda!". Nota mental: Arrieritos somos...
...

Mira bien lo que dices. Apártate, no te metas en mi camino. Sólo vengo a hacer lo que tengo que hacer. No tengo tiempo que perder en tonterías. La vida es demasiado corta para malgastar energía. Así que si no puedes hacerlo bien, no vengas a mí.

Porque yo sigo, sigo, sigo mi camino. Hacia cosas mayores y mejores. Nada de malo tiene creer en uno mismo. Las mentes perversas no van conmigo, yo voy de buenas por la vida.

No me odies sólo porque no llegues a mis talones. Yo sólo soy yo, viviendo mi sueño. Luego no me llames, no me interesa. He aprendido la lección, por fin despojado de toda negatividad ¡y demasiado he tardado!
...

www.countbasic.com

...
Reafirmativa declaración de principios.
...

You talk about highschool bullshit.. well, I've never dealt with so much shit at work until I met you, let me tell you.

And now you're writing blogs about shit assuming it's me? Go for it, keep doing it, I don't care.

But when you bring my son into shit at work.. that's just low. That's some low-life shit, seriously.

And I REFUSE to deal with it.

i absolutely can't believe people like you do not want to watch movies like these.good movies like these.i don't know what fare you'd rather go for, and i don't care since it's probably crap anyway.honestly, this simply accentuates how much i feel like a misfit.i can't even find a friend who has the same tastes as me in music, films and literature.and you won't even bother to part with 7 bloody dollars.

some friends you all are, indeed.

Well they are, people start showing up. All the hott guys your friends with. Pong  and king games are started everyone is having  a good time. You got a cupple of guys hitting on you including the one your crushing on.  But the only one that matter would be your crush. Your thats single is making it with one of your boys so you think your in the clear and you'll have your crush to your self all night..

But your so called girl has something up her sleeve... You and your other friend believe things will be great tonight, the other girl is soo helping out with you and ur crush. Syke! Just Kidding. As the night goes on shes hitting on ur crush and even got him to go and sleep with her after knowing he put all his shit in your room, cuz he was just checking on her, before you guys went to bed. So you get fucked over by both of them. But that dosent mean you need to sleep alone =) Grab your girl and one of those hotties and all cuddle. So your night kinda got trashed because your so called friend fucked you over. Dont let this happen to you..if you think it is try this..

1. Pay more attention you *your man* (aka the man you have your eye on
2. Do not let her innocence blind you
3. Know you can not trust either of them
4. If things with them seem to be getting hotter find another eye candy so your night doesnt get ruinded!
5. Do not get mad that night act like things are completely fine
6. Do not let them see your mad, they know they won
7.  Begin to ignore them both, if either of them care about you they'll notice
8. Wait til morning and have someone that saw what was happening the night before with you and confront her, not him. (guys think with their dicks not their brains)
9. Explain to her what she did, dont get mad just tell her how it is
10. Give her another chance but tell her that next time you'll get even

So Ladies
I Know Im Not The Only One Thats Gone Thru This So Get At Me If You Have Any Thing To Add Or Any Stories!! I'd Love To Hear Them!