Since I couldn't sleep this morning I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. My landlord told me of a 2 mile route. It was great! I saw some awesome homes and beautiful flowers. Next time -- possibly tomorrow -- I'll take my camera with me. There were two houses on my route that were for sale. They were both small and cute! I wish I could by one!

But I'm going to relate a dream I had two nights ago. It was amazingly visual and perhaps this was one of those muse visits. In the dream:

I'm driving some kind of Rolls Royce down the highway and several people in the car (I have no idea what they looked like) said I was going too fast. Then we're in this meadow, which is hummocky with sparse trees, a few old locks and rocks. It's light green and brown and looks an awful lot like my friends' ranch in Clinton, BC. I'm driving down the middle trying to avoid various humps when a moose comes up to the car. It's small for a moose and has moss on its antlers.

Then up the middle comes this amazing animal. It looks like a deer but in truth it is made of wood and moss and twigs and leaves and its alive. We just stop and look at it, noticing its dark eyes.

Next, as dreams do like to shift, I'm walking with some people into a glacial snowy area. There is a huge mountain and something like a high white shelf piled with hundreds of feet of snow. I look up think it looks pretty weighty and then proceed into the cave that turns into this long, downward sloping roughly chopped snow tunnel. It is in pale shades of green and white and light blue and just at the bottom I can see it starts to slope up again.

Then we hear a rumbling and great torrents of ice and snow flood up the passage, an interior avalanche. I manage to crawl out some side holes between the grey rock with two other people. Five are left in there including two friends, Karin and Eric (who I haven't seen in years). Once it stops we go back in to find them and all the snow has turned to sand. We pull each person out from under the sand and besides being slightly damp and unconscious, they wake and are fine.

A friend of mine likes to interpret her dreams but I'm not sure I can with this. The interactions with nature were very strong. And groups of people mattered but were mostly anonymous.

Many of my dreams are muse driven, that is, they end up becoming stories. I don't think this one will and even though there was that avalanche the feeling in the dream was one of wonder, where no one was injured. The colors were vivid and important, and I really hope this is not just a portent of early winter.

I started out the day really slow, because I went back to bed after I had been up for awhile, but I decided that my head was still in slumber attitude and that I was not ready to tackle the day and all it's details that it would bring. So I laid me down to sleep, with Jesker beside me, and didn't wake up until the phone rang and it was my sister to remind me of our appointment to go to Ikea, as if i would forget that outing!

I very slowly got dressed and walked the dog and then went grocery shopping and to the tobacco store, where they see me as one of their favorite customers, at least, that's the kind of welcoming smile I get. They almost know what I come to get, and one day soon I won't have to ask for it. They'll just reach for the items on the shelf the minute they see my bright and happy face.

Back home, Jesker and I shared a pudding with berry sauce and then my sister came to get me in her new Peugeot, which is a sporty little 4 door car with a hatchback. She had the radio on and I felt like Thelma and Louise when we drove down the freeway. Luckily, we don't need to make our escape, as it is our men that we send on their way.

Ikea had just had another grand opening and there were people in yellow jackets directing the parking traffic ineffectively, but we found a good spot anyway. The thing is to ignore the pointing fingers and to go by your instincts, which will direct you to the empty parking space. It will also get you a dirty look, but this particular yellow coated traffic director had a big earring in and we figured he wasn't really anyone important at all, even though he had a decent haircut.

We were good shoppers and followed all the arrows and didn't take any short cuts through the store, even though we new exactly what we wanted. We also wanted to look at all the things we weren't buying and in the meantime we were talking and chatting like two chickens in a hen house, like we have a tendency to do. We must go back soon and really linger and spend an afternoon there, when we both have extra money to spend on gadgets and stuff. Things you don't really need, but can't live without that will improve your life so tremendously. That's what Ikea is for, and oh, I walked by the sofa I want and it hurt me to leave without it.

We soon enough got the items we wanted and headed for the cash registers and after some indecision ended up in the right line. The fast one, where my sister found out that she had bought the expensive duvet, but she didn't feel like going to customer service and undoing the whole sale and going back into the store to find the right one, as it has taken us some searching to find the one that we thought was the right one, you know, with all those names on the products.

We shoved the bought items in the car, my carpet was a little long, and then went to the garden center next door, which has the same sort of planned route through its shelved products as Ikea has. Lots of temptations to buy things. "Oh yes, I'll have 3 of those and 5 of these. And that plant is really pretty too." Friendly customer service all over the place, attractive prices, overabundance of goods, you think you are in Fantasy land. It's best to be strong of mind and keep a steady hand on your wallet and be determined to only buy what you had come for.

When I came home, I unrolled the carpet and found out it was bigger than I had imagined, so that was good. Jesker laid down on it right away and Gandhi sharpened her claws on it, which made Jesker angry. I told him, "Good dog."

Then I had to walk him and go to the pharmacy to pick up a large supply of medication that I had ordered two days earlier, but when I got there, I found out they never received the fax with the prescription, so I had to make a phone call and at the other end of the line a frantic search took place to find the missing prescription, which showed up in the fax machine 20 minutes later. I love mayhem, especially when it is about my precious pills.

On the way home, I stopped by the flower and plant shop and bought two plants of heather in pots and I have those sitting here instead of the 'child in mother's lap' plants that weren't doing so well. They cost me 2.50 Euros for 2. It's a steal. Jesker thought I was bringing home food and was mighty disappointed.

I was just out back, and besides a lot of weeds, I have the jasmine and the golden rain and the 3 trees and now another unidentified bush has grown up amongst the jasmine. I have to try and find out what it is, but it is staying. Anything that wishes to grow here, stays. I'll have to pull out the weeds this weekend, although that is not my favorite job, especially not now that my left knee is bothering me so much. It really hurts to bend it, especially when the weight is on it. I am wearing out, I guess.

I hope you all like my header. I went through some trouble to find something to represent what I thought was Another Bright Day and I thought this little child was perfect. There is innocence and happiness. It is a challenge to find the right photograph to express a meaning. I liked the gray slate too, until Maggie said it looked like elephant's skin and I don't want that. Besides, it didn't express much emotion.

Now I am going to rest my weary bones on the sofa, after I have looked up a TV guide on line. I must remember to do that. I hope there is a good British thriller on tonight. Those are the best.

Have a good evening, get yourself ready for a lovely weekend.

Ciao...

I lay awake the other night, the comforting smells of dust and fabric softener helping to keep me enveloped and safe. I could smell your skin, warm, and spicy, like pepper. You smell like you, and like anyone else.

I lay awake the other night, the gentle blanket around my body, the lightest pressure on my bare back. Your warmth reaches me, anchors me. You are warm-blooded, and like anyone else.

I lay awake the other night, my longsighted eyes half-focused on the hazy horizon of streetlight on my pillow. I could see your sleeping form and reached out to touch you, my pale skin against your dark. You are mine, you are unique, you are different from me, but you are like anyone else.

I was and am still in a bad way. Things are moving and warping. My power cord began snaking around and my lamp began to wave. I spent a lot of last night/this morning running my fingers over the pills in their blisters. Right now I'm hating myself for not taking them.

After a 180 minute wait, I managed to see my GP with the packets in tow. (If this seems like a long wait - which it is by their standards - the place I go to, holds open surgery with only 2 days on offer for appointments). I was his last patient so time wasn't too limited. Went in. Sat down. I couldn't look at him. I mumbled something about needing a prescription for when I'm over in Australia. He asked whether I wanted the Zopiclone. I told him my mum said I couldn't. "But you're 17". Then me with my shrinking voice; "I can't be trusted". And I can't. Last night I was sat with my legs dangling over the edge of to be or not to be and now I've given up my exit, I've thrown myself off the edge and found a safety net holding me back. I need to find something to cut it away.

We didn't really say much about the numerous boxes I placed on his desk. He just told me that he was glad that I'd handed them over and we talked about Australia for a while. I've come away feeling the same as before I went in but now minus my way out. Entrapment has locked on to my head.

This is where the title enters. Once home, fed and back in my pyjamas, my mum asked me and my sister to do the hoovering. I was in the kitchen when I rolled over my mums shoe lace and the Dyson decided to eat it. Cue alot of horrible noise and me screaming while pounding at the off button to no avail. In the end my sister pulled the plug and the horrible noise stopped. This was enough to push me too far. I'm aware this will sound over dramatic as will the following comment, but I'm fragile at the moment. I ran away from the hoover, curled up on the floor and proceeded to laugh quite hysterically while crying for the oppertunity lost last night. I couldn't breathe properly between the gasping sobs and disjointed giggling. I was on the floor for over an hour, while my mum and sister watched in disbelief and mopped the floor around me. It sounds like some crass film scene. I could reference to the "screaming but no one can hear me" cliche but I'm pretty sure everyone could hear me. They just didn't know what to do about it so carried on as normal.

Since the kitchen floor, tiredness has again washed over me. I'm considering a nap. Regressing back to safe childhood. You have a tantrum, cuddle mummy and take a quick kip on the sofa.

I can't see anyway out of this bottomless pit.

]]> http://cpapandmore.wordpress.com/?p=231 Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:57:36 +0000 cpapandmore http://cpapandmore.wordpress.com/?p=231

Yes, ladies, that is a clue, to get more sleep! Theres a reason they call it beauty sleep.

Sleep helps you restore to your body's full potential; including weight! Sleep influences the hormones in the body related to hunger. A good night's rest can improve the chances of successful weight loss.

Adequate rest could play an important role in shedding pounds. It might seem like one more thing added to the long to-do list for losing weight, but paying attention to sleep patterns and getting the recommended amount of shuteye might help with reducing the number on the scale.

According to the National Sleep Foundation 63% of Americans do not get 8 hours of sleep a day and 31% get less then 7 hours on week days. In their 2008 Sleep America Poll, 72% of the respondents were overweight or obese. For, work days, these individuals reported less time in bed than the average weight respondents.

Simply stated, many people are not well rested. This is an even more improtant issue for those struggling to lose weight. Among other health risks, sleep deprivation could contradict weight loss effots by increasing hunger.

Sleep & Hormones

Sleep deprivation influences two hormones that play a major role in appetite. Ghrelin is a hormone that is responsible for increasing appetite. Leptin is a hormone that lets the brain know when the body is full, therefore decreasing appetite.

When sleep deprivation occurs there is a decrease in leptin (the full hormone) and an increase in ghrelin (the appetite hormone). This leads to an increase in appetite overall. It appears taht this can result in hunger and increased food intake the day following a night of too little sleep.

How much?

Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Unfortunantely, there is no specific number of hours that is considered enough sleep. Several factors, including age and gender, influence how much one need to be well rested. Researching is still being conducted to look more closely at the variations in sleep requirements.

Getting a good nights sleep

The National Sleep Foundation offers these tips to improve the quality and quantity of sleep.

• Before bedtime choose activities that are relaxing such as reading an enjoyable book or listening to soothing music. Avoid stressful activities such as paying bills or engaging in problem-solving.
• Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco products close to bedtime. All can disrupt sleep and influence sleep quality.
• Eat and exercise at least 3 hours prior to bedtime. This reduces the possible disruption of falling asleep and staying asleep due to digestion, frequent bathroom trips and elevated body temperature.
• Make an effort to create a sleep-friendly environment. The bedroom should be dark, quiet and cool. Sleep on a supportive mattress and pillows, and decorate in a way that is inviting and free of allergens.

I say this because I have prayed many times over my wife when she has been ill.  It seems that when I pray for her that He either doesn't listen to me or it's just something that she has to go through.  My wife gets this real bad cough every time she gets sick.  I mean like coughing 24/7 and you can't sleep, your throat swells up, you choke, your ribs hurt, and cough medicine doesn't even touch it!  When she was pregnant with Avery her body got so stressed that she couldn't even carry full term.  It is stressful for everyone around the house and it takes her a long time to get well.

Yesterday she was trying to rest and actually got a little rest during the day when she had been up the whole night before.  As we were lying in bed talking she was lying real still not moving, afraid she might start coughing.  As soon as she got up she started with a full blown out coughing attack.  She couldn't breathe and just started groaning, "no,no,no..."  She started crying because she was so worn out and tired of coughing.  After comforting her and calming her down she laid down and I started to pray for her.

Yes, your thinking is right, I didn't want to because I was thinking, "What's the use?"  I place my hands on her back and told God I believed He was healing her and to please let her rest and clear up this stuff that is making her cough.  She went to sleep and did not cough one time and slept all night till I had to get her up in the morning.  She has been good all day and is finally recovering.

So, I ask you, what was the difference this time?  Was it the belief that He would do it?  I think that's part of it but I also believe that it was part of the hurt I carried for her and the wanting of to take this away from her as in I wish I could do the coughing for her.  It was  a totally empathetic moment and a belief in God along with knowing He loved her to.  The best part of it was to let her know that the reason she slept was because God put her to sleep.  Wouldn't you like some of that lullaby action?

Last night, I couldn't believe it but I feel asleep on the couch at 9:30pm! That from the girl who usually stays up until midnight or later. I eventually woke up at 11:00 and headed to bed after my "nap." Yes, I am one of those people. I can take a nap, even in the later evening, and still fall asleep at bedtime.

When I woke up this morning at 8:30, sans alarm, I was totally disoriented. For one thing, the hubby was still in the bed when I woke up. And then I thought it was Saturday. It wasn't. It's Friday. Thankfully, in this state of "back to normal" I don't have to go in to work every Friday.

This stuff reminds me of when I was a kid. I woke up one day thinking I had to go to school. I dressed and went to have some breakfast when I was greeted by everyone else--still in pajamas.

She loved the show and actually managed to fall asleep as they were playing.  So after you read my last post, this one probably seems hilarious. She can't go to sleep in her own bed but at a slayer show, yes, sleeping is no problem. Hahahah.

It’s not that I don’t want to go to work, I really do enjoy the individuals I work with, it’s the fact that I have to roll out of bed at 6:30 and deal with my mind – which seems to be stuck in slow motion.

Weekends are different. I can get up around 11, which will give me around 11 hours of sleep and then simply just ease my way into the day, which seems to work better for my body. Maybe that is part of my problem… This may all be linked to a lack of sleep but 7 ½ hours should be enough, shouldn’t it? Maybe if I got more sleep and woke up earlier I could ease into the work day…

Sigh…

The first week of my two weeks off I didn't relax at all. But since coming home from Reading on Monday I have realised I need a break. On Tuesday and Wednesday I tried keeping myself busy, slowly feeling more and more ill but ignoring the symptoms the best I could. Until Thursday. I just did not want to get up. But I had things to do so forced myself out of bed, took some medicine and went food shopping. This was clearly the wrong thing to do and since coming home I have spent most of my time in bed. Just sleeping. Not by choice mind, more because walking down the stairs to get a drink tired me out and sitting in a chair meant requiring the effort to get out of it. Making this blog is about the most effort I can handle at the moment. 

These past few weeks have given me a lot of time to think though. And it has made me realise some things. Bad and good things. I'm not really sure how to handle them, what to do about them or anything much really. I don't think it helps that I'm having all these deep thoughts at a time when I'm the sickest I have been in quite some time (which has shocked me a lot actually; I'd forgotten what it felt like to feel so frail and hopeless). 

I think I just need to take a step back from life for a while. 

-A-

Christian, well, he went to sleep at 7:30pm, but got up at 2-ish.  Loud and obnoxious running/screaming started immediately.  I decided to see if he would calm down if I put the "magic DVD" in right away.  Well, it managed to slow him from a constant run/scream to an occasional one, so I guess it did something.  It didn't lull him back to sleep until the 5th time.  (Which he figured out how to turn back on whenever it got back to the main menu.  A skill I didn't know he had!)  I'm thinking tonight I will give him half of his melatonin dose before bed and give him the other half if he wakes before 4am.  (That's as close as I can get to "time-release" since he is taking a liquid version.)  I'm hoping that will maybe help since last night was night #5 in a row that he has been up by 2:30am or before.  Yuck!  I'm dreading completing tasks today because I cannot think clearly, but maybe if I keep busy with things I won't realize just how tired I actually am.  (Well, one can dream, right???)  ;)

When morning breaks and I awake

To face the world anew,

I wish that I might sleep again

And once more dream of you.

7/12/00     Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck

It is still late August, but it's been unseasonably cool here for the past few weeks. Having Fall weather arrive early makes me really happy. I've always loved this time of year.  It reminds me of being a teenager when it was back to school time, and of the parties and crazy, hormonal energy present during those last few weeks of summer and first few weeks of school.   It takes me back to my misspent, promiscuous and sometimes enjoyable youth.

Majority of people think that we require no less than 8 hours of sleep if they want to remain well. But up to date inquiries point to a fact that the mortality rate is somewhat lower with people who sleep a couple of hours less. Particular basis for this is unknown as of yet. Additional researches will be necessary in order to corroborate the fact that there can be an improvement in health, if a person start sleeping less.

How to sleep less is a question which is often asked. There are a number of ways on hand if you want to sleep less. First, you should stay away from coffee. You should also try to lower the level of stress. Rise the quality of sleep. Repeated walking and exercise will as expected help you to be more energetic as it enhances circulation of blood all through the body. Hence people will become more energetic. And, obviously, tiredness is believe to be the chief reason for a person to want to sleep more.

It is understandable why people desire to sleep less. In the present day, people exert ourselves more than we ever did. Our life could be better if we knew how to remain awake for longer periods of time. Bonus time would be available to spend with our family.

Several tricks are available if we're looking to sleep less. Taking a short catnap in the afternoon will certainly help us sleep less in the night. People will feel energized after having a little bit of sleep in a middle of a day. It might prove to be a difficult task for people who are working for a living. Than you could try to finish your lunch and pay a visit to the park. You will possibly be amazed to find out what a difference this can make. You can in fact require less sleep.

If you are serious about sleeping less, you should definitely look into this step by step program for sleeping less. It's filled with very sensible information that you need to know if you decide to start sleeping less.

Pascal x

If it wasn't enough to have insomnia the other night, late last evening toothache came from nowhere and kept me awake! Grrrrrr! The photo's not me by the way!

"It's some underlying issue, right?"

Maybe. I don't know. Sleeping, got a lot to say about it. Most people don't think twice about it. They place their head on a pillow or whatever, and they fall asleep. Not me. It's never been that easy. I can easily blame someone else for my...insomnia, but...I'm not going to do that. It's my own fault. They say your brain recharges itself as you sleep. The neurons take a brake. That sort of thing. I don't know. Not a doctor. Those of you with good beds...you use them. You're at peace.

Not me.

8 hours of sleep. How long's that last?

It's not a stupid question. Think about it. You hit that pillow. Your breathing becomes shallow. You lose consciousness. How long does it last? A few seconds at most. Right? Then you wake up and it's morning. You do whatever you do in the morning. It's that simple. It's what every single person on earth does. Those few seconds...it's when we're at peace. You said it before, maybe it's some underlying issue? Something that's bothering me, the reason I'm awake right now?

I don't like being awake during the day. It's not normal, I know. So what do I do? Things will change. I'm sure of it. Not right now, though. As for that underlying issue? We'll see.

Teeth clenching is a part of Bruxism.  Most people think of teeth grinding when it comes to Bruxism.  I don't grind my teeth but I do clench my teeth together far too much.  I notice it especially when I'm trying to fall asleep.  It happens during the day as well, but not as much.

I found a rather good explanation to some weird things that occured, in regards to sleep, when I was young.  I was looking at information on Sleep Paralysis and it hit the nail right on the head.

I used to wake up at night unable to move or speak.  It was terrifying.  I'd be screaming for my Mum but no sound would come out of my mouth.  I had hallucinations as well.  These were hypnopompic hallucinations. I thought, as time went on, that it wasn't real or they were nightmares.  It's nice to know I wasn't making it all up.

I would also experience hypnagogic hallucinations.  These are related to falling asleep.  Sometimes it's accompanied with sights or sounds.  I still, to this day, experience these.  I'm not sure about the hypnopompia.  I can't recall any instances of late.

It's neat to finally have an answer to something that really bothered me as a kid.  I didn't think that there would be information out there on it.  Now I've got to work on the teeth.

Excuse me if this post is rambling, it's written by a very tired mammy. One who only went to bed at half 4 this morning and who got up again at 9. But it's nowhere near the sheer exhaustion I remember from the first few weeks of Littlepixie's life, this is just regular tiredness, I feel like I was out dancing all night!

Littlepixie has just cut her first molars, 4 (or possibly 5) all at once, the poor pet. Understandably, her mouth is a little sore.

Last night she nursed to sleep and I snuck downstairs to get some internetting time in, in retrospect I should have gone to sleep too because as it turned out it would be a good many hours before my little head hit the pillow! LP woke around midnight and was clearly in pain, she was banging her mouth with her hand, crying and sobbing "teeth, teeth". We gave her some medicine but it didn't seem to help much. Nursing was acceptable to her but only while sitting up with the light on.

Myself & LP retired downstairs to the living room. We've been quite lucky recently with her night wakenings, usually she nurses straight back to sleep. But not last night. We snuggled on the couch under a big blanket, nursing & reading her bedtime book over and over again. We found every bear, rabbit, sock and red balloon in the book, chatted about them, laughed at them, counted them and then started all over again. I got sleepier, LP did not!

It was really just a case of watching the clock tick by and waiting for her to get sleepy. The medicine finally seemed to take effect and she was no longer complaining about her teeth, so that was good. But I was barely awake! So, after a while playing with LP's dolls I resorted to putting on a DVD for her to watch. I know the middle of the night is not usually prime tv time, but the show was nice and calm and has no advertisements.

We watched that for about 15 minutes while nursing and reading more books, I then brought her into our office where she often nurses for her naps in the hopes that she would think it was nap time. No such luck! At 4 am we went back up to bed where Mr. HPP read her another story, and she finally nursed back to sleep, with her foot lodged firmly in Mr. HPP's face. We were all awake again at 9 am, we're very tired but LP is in top form, her teeth don't seem to be at her now and she's bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Night-time parenting is hard work! But it's worth it. LP clearly needed some extra care last night and I'm glad we could help her out. Fingers crossed we all sleep well tonight!

What about all of you? Do you have any particular things you like to do when you're passing the wee hours of the night awake with your child?

We're looking for more contributors over at API Speaks, interested?