I worked very hard to not make it wrong, and felt I kept the conversation open with the guest that left, and I believe she left feeling she had made a choice. Her mother stayed on after the break, as the only guest in the company of 4 graduates, and I thought that was terrific of her - to not just leave because everyone else did. She had a breakthrough whilst we were talking, after I shared about my experience of the 'viscious circle' about what happened (i was a surpirce pregnancy/an accident) and what I made that mean (I am not wanted). She is enrolled for sure.

I was dissapointed my other two guests did not show, or let me know they would not be attending. When I talked to them 24 hours before we were to meet, they said they would be there. I know it does not mean 'they dont want me', all I am interested in knowing is what was stopping them, and to explore that further with them. I get that for both of them it 'just' have been easier to not come that to come. Next time I will suggest we could drive together, perhaps the idea of walking into a group of strangers at a strangers house was too scary.

This picture is a little bit what I want my life to be about.

Cant I explain right now because I am being exceptionally focused and self controlled by refraining from blogging about the aforementioned things (goats, pretending to a mother etc)  and doing disgusting uni assingments instead.

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personality tests by similarminds.com ]]> http://ambermoon.wordpress.com/?p=1889 Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:19:55 +0000 Amber http://ambermoon.tl.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/sensual-massage-as-foreplaypg18/

Sensual massage has many benefits physically, mentally and sexually.  It is a wonderful way to connect and have foreplay with your partner and to get the juices flowing so to speak.  

From a health point of view, massage stimulates blood flow and muscle health.  It relaxes the body and the mind at the same time.  Being touched creates neuro-connections in the brain, which benefit all kinds of things from memory, to IQ.  

When people connect through touch, their energy changes.  They become stimulated, relaxed, and in a more peaceful place.  The warmth of a touch from one being to another is something a person cannot survive without.  

Finding each other's erogenous zones through massage and exploration is really healthy.  Many people do not know how sensitive the backs of the knees are, the neck and the feet are.  Even the fingers!  The inner thighs are extremely sensitive as there are main arteries carrying blood there.  There are many pressure points throughout the body that can cause the beginnings of sexual stimulation.  

There are a whole host of aromatherapy massage oils on the market to feel good on the body, and heighten the senses.  The repetitive motion of your lovers hand smoothing them over your body is both a relaxation and a turn on all in one.  There are flavored massage oils, as well as oils that tingle on the skin and warm to add an extra dimension to the physical enjoyment.

Psychologically its a "service" that one gives to another.  This leads to intimacy and bonding.  (No not bondage - pervs!  keep on topic here).  So women who have a difficult time getting their men to become more intimate with them or have the lets get it on mentality can slow the whole process by starting it off with a gentle massage.  It sets the stage so to speak.  Lets be honest here.  Men like to be worshipped.  It is part of who they are.  They love to be adored.  So do women, but it is not on the same physical level.  

People point to things like tantric sex to heighten physical stimulation and enjoyment.  But really the same can be applied through massage.  It is the appetizer to the main course and finishing with dessert so to speak.  Its also good for a man to have prolonged stimulation without him actually ejaculating straight away.  His orgasm intensified by being deprived.  It also helps him in the end after practice to "last longer".

I see this as a wonderful way for a man to get his woman "in the mood".  A nice massage, and I bet she'll be putty in your hands!  Well, lets just say you'll have a better chance than saying "Hey lets get it on!".  

Hayden wrote yesterday about keeping the spark in your relationships.  Service to each other is one of those ways.  I think people become lazy and complacent with their partners.  They no longer want to take the time.  Instant gratification is what is needed and desired.  But you cheat your partner and you cheat yourself with this thinking.

I just love lighting candles and creating "the mood".  Sort of like putting a uniform on for work or school you psychologically prepare yourself for what lies ahead.  

It is true, the key to a woman is her mind.  If you can open her mind, you can then open her body fully to pleasure.  Just a little tip for you guys out there :).  You can't even attempt to reach her body if her mind is not open.  Im sure my blogging sisters will agree there.

Sex is not simply about the act itself.  There is so much more to it than that.  It is about awakening the senses and enjoying the physical space of your partner, and yourself.

Sebenarnya isu ini sudah lama, Apple Computer akan meluncurkan notebook terbarunya.

Keynote akan diadakan pada tanggal 14 Oktober 2008, dimana Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) akan mempresentasikan model baru untuk notebook apple yang disebut MacBook.

Seperti apa perbedannya?

Temen2 tau kan macbook yang sekarang? Yang warna Putih dan hitam. Yang mengkilap itu. Kalo lecet dikit nangis deh. hahaha..

Setelah tanggal 14 oktober nanti, kemungkinan kedua model tersebut tidak ada lagi. Karena Apple sedang mengubah cara mereka untuk memproduksi notebook mereka.

So, untuk macbook terbarunya ini, mereka akan menggunakan bahan alumunium, persis sama dengan MacBook PRO. Kesannya, seperti membeli "macbook pro" dengan harga "macbook" hehehe.

Kabar bagusnya, Chipset VGA tidak akan menggunakan Intel GMA lagi, namun menggunakan Chipset nVidia. Perbandingannya bisa dilihat di http://www.adinoto.org/. Beda banget deh. Tau sendiri kan VGA intel jeleknya minta ampun?!

Jadi nggak sabar mo beli notebook, untuk pribadi saya...karena selama ini saya numpang notebook orang lain ... susah kalo mo nyimpen data pribadi ... seperti kenangan sekolah saya dan DYCerz. :)

Tunggu aja deh tanggal 14 oktober! :D

Informasi lanjut :

http://www.google.co.id/search?hl=id&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=SBj&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=MacBook+Aluminium&spell=1

I am the kind who like celebrate other people birthday. For me, the meaning of a birthday has changed slowly as I get older n older each year. When I still stay at home, I had never thought that birthday had a special meaning, except that I got older n I would receive presents on that day. My mom would cook noodle and egg for me n my family would have special dinner on that day.

During my high school, when I stayed in boarding house, far away from home, I started to feel the meaning of a birthday. When I got older, it meant that my parents had taken care of me one more year. I felt grateful for having them in my life. Living far away from them had made me realized their existence n significance in my life. No matter what happened in my life, I would always have a place to return finding my shelter, my family, my home. During those years as well, I felt so touched for surprise birthday party thrown by my friends.

After being a believer, birthday has deeper meaning to me now. Celebrating my own birthday means that for one more year God has been walking faithfully with me; for one more year He has been holding my hands; for one more He has been loving me unconditionally; for one more He has been watching over me days n nights. Altough I often don't realise it until the last second.

Back then, I was always afraid of getting 20 years old. That meant I was not a teenager anymore. On my 21st birthday, I cried a lot when celebrating it with my spiritual group (Kelompok Tumbuh Bersama = KTB). I felt extremely afraid of facing the reality of this world. I was afraid of all responsibilities, demands, etc that might be expected from me. I was not ready, I just wanted to run away from all these realities. This kind of thought might also be affected by the hard time I had during my 21st birthday.

However, after attending two birthday parties today (Abed n Irana are celebrated together), I am kind of realising the true meaning of living my life as a thanksgiving. I knew that I had to be thankful each day since God had saved a sinner like me n granted me eternal life. But talking about eternal life, it seems so far away. Now, as I see my friends around me, I see more of God's love towards me. Not only He gives me eternal life but on the way for it He gives me so many companions as well.

As a sinner who doesn't deserve His love but He has given much more than I need. Who I am that I deserve a good friend beside me; who I am that when I need something, there is always a helping hand; who I am that when I am down, there is always someone cheers me up; who I am that other people need to be good to me. When my friend needs me, sometimes I may feel reluctant to help them. When I know God has saved me n loved me abundantly, I still do something that can hurt Him consiously. When I am in the bad mood, I always want others to listen to me. When I am in the difficulty, I always ask God to help n solve my problem. But, have I ever listen to others that really need me? Have I ever really listen to God's words obediently even for once?

I felt so sorry to Garlia that I don't even know what to say to him anymore. Due to my careless words, we have been a public item for a year already. Although I blamed the public at first, then I realized that it was my fault. I should have never said those words. I think I am not good at expressing my feeling n when I try to do it, it becomes a mess.

Abed is a friend I can rely on. I am really thankful for him joining Indonesia FOC's welfare committee. During those times, he helped me a lot. He is a unique person with distinct personality. I appreciate his works on photography. He has a good taste on food as well. Working with him for a year as ISCF's excos, I find him a peacemaker as well. He is a family man, who speaks softly n seriously although sometimes he loves teasing people around him. I hope God's glory can be reflected by his works and his future family.

I don't really know Irana. She likes teasing people around her. After her birthday today, I start knowing that she has a struggle as well. I hope she will grow more n more each year, finding what God wants her to do in her life, being a blessing for people around her.

Celebrating others birthday become a favorite thing to do for me. Seeing how God works through their life, always reminds me what God has done in my life. Thanks God for everything, I might not deserve all the good things but You have granted them for me. Please let me pass on all Your blessing to others n bring glory to Your name.

Lord I offer my life to You

(Verse 1)
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

(Verse 2)
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, all of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

{ repeat verse 1 ,verse 2 ,and chorus }

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
Lord I offer you my life

Here, I continue with part 3 of my series of posts about the Gospel as interpreted by T.F. Torrance in his book The Mediation of Christ; a book in harmony with Who Jesus is and the ancient Church's view. This time I will tackle only paragraph 3, which says:

"Jesus Christ died for you precisely because you are sinful and utterly unworthy of him, and has thereby already made you his own before and apart from your ever believing in him. He has bound you to himself by his love in a way that he will never let you go, for even if you refuse him and damn yourself in hell his love will never cease. Therefore, repent and believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour."

This passage is loaded yet again with the tremendous Good News about Jesus and all of Humanity in Him!

Suppose you were in a life and death situation, and you desperately wanted to live! You could only grab either a strong chain, and survive, or grab a weak chain, and die. Which one would you grab in order to live? Isn't it EASY to evaluate what you would do in order to live?

In another scenario, what if your small child was hanging precariously from a cliff, and their only options for survival were to a.) grab your hand with their small strength, or b.) have you grab their small hand in your HUGE strength (by comparison). What would YOU do to see them saved; to see them be who they already are in their relationship with you, forever?

That's easy, too!! YOU WOULD TAKE A HOLD OF THEM AND SAVE THEM! Wouldn't you?!

In the above statement, Torrance is trying to make this dynamic in our relationship with Jesus clear! By definition, sin means being "weak!" - or having no REAL purity of strength; being powerless and tainted! It means humanity hanging precariously from a cliff toward permanent death and non-existence (as Athanasius might have put it).

Now, what is God, being good and gracious to do? Is he to be seen as worse than you? Would he give his child only the option of grabbing His Huge Hand and holding on for dear life, or else? Or, is our Father to be seen as he is revealed in Christ? One who knows and sees that you and I are utterly incapable and unworthy of Him; as the Father who knows that if He is to have us permanently with Him, He must take a hold of us?!

Just as our "natural" reaction to our child in the above predicament would be to grab them and not present them with or even ask them which option they wanted, we, too, have been taken hold of by Jesus apart from our believing and doing anything! And, in fact, wouldn't you (if you had all strength and power) grab a hold of your child and NEVER LET THEM GO?!

C'mon now, be for real!!! If for whatever reason you can't think of your child in this way, then substitute any person that you REALLY love and care for!! After all, God SOOOO LOVED the World (cosmos) that He gave His only begotten Son..." - John 3:16! In other words, the Father, Son and Spirit put His full weight and strength as God behind securing us from disappearing forever down the gaping "sin hole" in Jesus - the fullness of God in a human body!!" Col 2:9!!

For one who already believes in Jesus Christ, we believe that with the exception of Jesus Christ, or the Son of God made flesh, everyone has sinned in human flesh! This makes everyone too weak to be saved by their own decision, belief or faith doesn't it? If God requires 100% faith for salvation from someone who obviously can't offer it, then it stands to reason they could never be saved, right? All humans, by scripture, are in just such a position! Romans 3!

How then are we all to be saved UNLESS Jesus saves us? Unless Jesus steps into into our exact position and lives and does for us what we obviously cannot do for ourselves? And if what Jesus did to save us was done 2000 years ago, doesn't it stand to reason that it had to be done to all of us - then?! How can we escape such clear and godly logic as revealed in Jesus and through careful discernment of the scriptures?

Finally, Torrance concludes this paragraph with the proper and Trinitarian Who is Jesus logic! If the Triune God has thrown His weight behind grabbing a hold of us in the Person of Jesus Christ, who could dare escape such an eternal grip?! I mean, this is THE Father grasping us in HIS Son, in THE Spirit! This isn't some human fable about Superman, Ironman or, God forbid, the Incredible Hulk!

I have seen some women leave an audience of many people with their child bound firmly in their grip while the child was throwing a tantrum of the most violent sort! You have probably seen or even done this, too! Solely because of the child's temper and action, combined with the parents fury (and pride because of the public spectacle), that child was NOT going to escape the parental grip, no matter what! They might hurt themselves TRYING to get out of the parents embrace, but it was them, the child, who was going to get hurt, NOT the parent or the parents pride!! No Way!! :-) You can feel me, can't you!! Ha-Ha!! :-)

God's grip on humanity is similar to this real life scenario! Because Jesus (God!) has taken hold of us in his godly pride, and not have us be a spectacle of the enemy, he has taken hold of us in such a way that he will NEVER let us go! The only thing that is going to happen, that can happen, to us, if we don't ever line up with our embrace in the Father's arm is get hurt! Experience hell! Be damned in God's grip!

But God will be damned before that should ever happen! We will be who we are, and He will have us with Him - embraced and in His arms - regardless!! Therefore, we might as well repent! We might as well respond to the loving nature of the grip and live in proper alignment with it, and not live alien to it! It starts hurting too badly to keep flinging our elbows in anger and breaking our own jaws and bones in the process! The Father's grip on all of humanity, in Christ, is NOT going away! He will be our God and we will be his people!

Believe in His Love, therefore! Be and Live in His embrace with obedience! Do not Be and die in His embrace in disobedience! BUT - whether we live or whether we die - we are the Lord's - forever and always! Romans 14:8!

This morning my spirit is filled with thankfulness.  I am looking out at the lake, the sun shining and making little sparkles.  The sky is a brilliant blue and there is a soft, cool wind.

Days like today my thoughts drift on the wind like a feather or a dandelion blowing in the breeze.  I can almost see them floating before my eyes.

The sound of the trees rustling softly is soothing.  The sight of the ducks that have finally returned to the lakes surface fill me with peace.  They too look as though they are simply floating.

Faces of my loved ones fill my mind right now.  People I miss who are far away from me at this moment, along with those who are near.

I feel grateful that my pain isn't bad today.  I think God knows I need my strength for the next two days to come.  

My mind drifts back to my atonement post too, and I ask myself to forgive not only those who have done wrong in my life, but to forgive myself for any harm I have cost others.

I think today will be filled with peace.  And that is a good thing.

Wanna see what's going on here? Check out the Flickr photos tagged with ploneconf2008 . If you are uploading your pics from the conference (or other media, blogs, etc), please use the tag ploneconf2008 so we can connect the dots!

I am grateful to see some pics - spliter (Denis) caught this pic of a panel I was on on the "10% manifesto" about how companies can contribute to Plone. Good thing we figured out what we were going to talk about with some quality beer first.

For those watching on planet.plone.org or just interested in more about the specific content, have a look at Mark from Zest Software's live blogging entries on the Plone conference. Thanks to Mark I was able to learn about what I missed while I was talking, like Joel's presentation on intranets. Hopefully presenters will be uploading their talks and tagging on slideshare.net --> see ploneconf sessions on slideshare.

You can see in the technorati list of blog posts tagged with ploneconf2008 that we are up to 11 posts currently. Notably there we have a few posts on CMSWire by JoAnna, including live blogging about Cris Ewing's talk, We All Stand Together, and Mike Robinson (aka Martin's boss) on what makes a great team (and a dive into agile!). On a related note, Gerry from ifPeople will be giving a talk on agile and scrum in the last slot of the conference (ie today!).

Not quite what we got with the concerted and organized efforts of Christian Scholtz (aka MrTopf) last year, but not bad considering the connectivity difficulties for the first day.

In case you didn't notice, if you are posting stuff, we would really like you to tag it with ploneconf2008! Include a license from Creative Commons to make it even easier to share.

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I thought for a laugh, Id share some of the recent LOL cats with you.  Really they are of us all caught by sneak camera

Be careful about taking the bible/torah/koran out of context to beat each other with.  Be careful that you do not become a judger of others and their lives.  Instead focus on their messages of hope, love, brotherhood towards all that these books were meant to give us all.  By you condemning others with these books you achieve two things:  You condemn yourself, and you do God a disservice by turning them away from his word.

Remember we can take any book and place our own human meanings into it any way we can imagine.  We can twist its words.  We would be much better to focus on our own sins than point out the sins of our brothers and sisters.  Change starts with you.  You only control YOU.

Neil Gaiman has given away his new book, 'The graveyard book', one chapter at a time, reading a chapter across 9 cities, starting October 1 and finishing yesterday. Fans are also able to access the readings at Gaiman's website for young readers, Mouse Circus, where the readings are on video.

'The graveyard book' was conceived when Gaiman used to take his son into the cemetery to ride his bike, not having anywhere else to ride. The story is about an orphaned boy called Nobody, who is raised by cemetery inhabitants - not the human kind. Gaiman was inspired by Kipling's 'The jungle book', only Gaiman's protagonist is raised by dead people instead of animals.

Wired.com has filmed Gaiman talking about his childhood and 'The graveyard book' - a fascinating insight.

On his blog, Gaiman comments on his videos being free to those who missed the readings, as he talks about his idea of sharing the story:

As far as I'm concerned, the videos exist to allow people who weren't there to experience the readings, to taste the story, to enjoy it. I'd love it if libraries used them. I'm happy if bookstores use them, or if schools use them for that purpose, in the US or out of it.

Another reader comments on the advantage of the streamed reading:

Watching you read, your face taking on the myriad expressions of your characters, is so much better than just an audio. Stray noises and all. Thanks for giving us the experience.

 For the latest news and articles about Neil, the Universe, and Everything, go and bookmark Lucy Anne's The Dreaming at del.icio.us.

It would be fun to run sessions for students to watch the video of Neil Gaiman reading his own work, either as a marathon, or splitting it up by chapter. I love the way the book takes on a life of its own, with the author turning the book into an event, and giving of himself, and  with the follow-up videos. Another idea that comes to mind is a student-created video where they read a chapter from their favourite book or a story they have written themselves. They could do a straight reading or add costume and effects.

I have noticed that when I am truly self expressed the little voice in my head dissapears. I have noticed I get 'high on life' when I have coached, and need very little sleep.

I have also finally seen how come I feel the need to vent to others when things don't go my way - I am looking for agreeement! Aha! Thats why I had to share how awwwwwful M had been all those years ago - to get agreement that I was not 'weird' - which it turns out that I SO am, and I am so happy with being weird ;-)

Today at work it happened again, I was not happy with the actions of my co-worker, and although I this time expressed my dissapointment with her, where before I would have been upset and not said anything, I still sought out agreement from others that I was right and she was wrong. And all the while I am making myself wrong for looking for the agreement...

Finally, to plan my work and to work my plan, I need to go to bed so I can be ready for a 8am basket game tomorrow! ;-)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

An important part of keeping relationships healthy is balance.

The first two aspects of a relationship that must be kept in balance are those of independence and mutuality.  That is spending time together and spending time alone.

If this delicate balance is upset the consequences can be disastrous.  An example of one extreme; if the partners are always together and have absolutely no independence from each other then they will be unable to be  healthy as individuals or as a pair.  Their lack of freedom can stifle the ability for either to grow as an individual. And, if I can't become a better and stronger person how am I to make my relationship stronger and better.

On the other extreme, if the partners are never together then there can be no intimacy. By this I do not mean physically; there are many situations where a couple can be physically apart whether by choice or not and still retain a healthy intimacy.  When I say "never together" I am referring to a lack of sharing, of mutual activities and focuses.  If two people love each other and come together into a relationship such as marriage, and then each chooses to continue his or her life exactly as it was before meeting their partner without altering any aspect or in any way including their partner then there is no value in the relationship.  Neither person is putting anything into the relationship so neither will get anything out of it.

A healthy relationship means having independent interests and activities as well as mutual interests and activities.  There is no specific balance that every couple must achieve. The necessary balance may change over time.  Compromise may be needed to find a balance that feels right to both partners in order to keep the relationship in balance.   The most important thing is to love, honor and respect your partner.  Doing so, and listening to your partner, are the keys to keeping the balance.

I’ve been tagged about my quirks and addictions (Thanks a whole heap Donstuff!).  This is supposed to be an opportunity for you to get to know your blogging friends better, so I’ll try to confess to obsessions I haven’t previously mentioned.  Stealing your line - "I’ll try to be as honest as anyone running for an elected office".  Good one.  That gives me a wide scope for telling tales.

Quirks:

I can't stand things that don't match or blend in.  It drives me insane.  I once walked into a home of a friend who did her entire house in a green country motif (which was not me but nice all of the same).  I looked up a the ceiling and saw that she did her ceiling fan with green accents on it.  The green didn't match the rest of the "look" and it drove me nuts to be in that room!  My eye kept focusing on that the entire time.  I do manage not to say anything (mostly - unless I know you REALLY well).  But my mind keeps going back to it.  Its like a big red beacon to me flashing.  I know Im nuts - thats half the battle won right?  right?????

I don't like things to be "undone".  Another thing that is a bug me thing.

I can't stand to see women with chipped fingernail polish or toenail polish.  It just grosses me out.  Worse so when they truly are in need of some serious pedicure and are wearing sandals.  NASTY!  Men, lets not even go there about their feet and nails.  Ooooh no.

I will spend money on everyone else but me.  If the item is for someone else, the sky is the limit.  But I don't bother spending it on my needs.  For that I bargain shop!

I always look at the price of the meal Im ordering on the menu and select what I want according to that.  I think that goes with being cheap.  Im trying really hard not to do that, but its a very old habit.

Addictions:

Hmm - food that would be See's candies when I get them, and Red Brick Pizza.  I could eat those things every day.  Probably mexican food falls on that list too.

Jewelry - I admit it, I am BAD!  I love jewelry.  It is my bad thing.  But I only go for the real stuff - I'm too lazy to wear costume jewelry even though it looks so nice and pulled together with outfits.  I shower in my jewelry and don't bother to take it off.  So I tend to wear "classic pieces".  I smile for big diamonds!  

I am a bargain hunter to the extreme.  Nothing gets bought without me shopping and making sure I am getting the best value for my money!  In fact Im to the point of semi-crazy with that.  If it isn't a deal - it doesn't get purchased pretty much full stop.

Blogging - well duh!

Reading medical journals

Ubuntu - I am because you are.... its that simple

OK, soooooo lets see... tagged people would be :  Joy, AA, Holeycheese, Thatdudeyouknow, Kwoneshe2, Insanityfound, Bojinx (jinxie), Hayden, Vanessa, DM, BritinLA, Ammonyte, Ilegirl, Deeps, Neilina, Girlswithoutshoes, CordieB, .... ok Ill make this simple.. if you are on my blogroll damn it, you are tagged!