Now, it so happens that Doug has divided his opus into “cantos”, a word which means ...

She: What's that heavy breathing over there?

'Scuse me a second.

He: Hard work. I'm websearching the word “canto”.

She: Canned toes? Are you looking for something new and different for breakfast?

Sheesh. Some people.

Where was I? Oh. Yeah. Canto. I read that it comes from the Latin word canere, “to sing”. Which does not mean that the ancient Romans recited poetry in a cannery. The acoustics in the average cannery are terrible. No way the Romans would have stood for it. People were thrown to the lions for less.

So, according to some people, canto means “song”. (I don't think those Romans did any singing in a cannery, either.) Which makes sense, I guess. Most of the poetry with which folk are familiar these days does come with the singing on the radio or the iPod or the television. Well, we can count the television if we agree that most of what shows up on American Idol does not qualify as singing. Dog torture, maybe. Perhaps we can string these people up on a “cruelty to animals” charge.

Anyway. This “song” business is, I'm told, why poetry is divided up into bite-sized chunks called verses. Which may be how come most people have trouble reading poetry. They think it's the enemy. One particular person of small Latin and less Greek, back a few years ago, misread verses as versus and came up with the idea of the “fight song”, now proudly played, and even sung (if the students should happen to know any of the words), during football games on college and university campuses throughout these Untied States.

The proposed derivation of canto from words meaning “song, singing” certainly seems plausible, and I'm sure that many men and women of great erudition will insist upon it. But I can't help thinking that these many men and women have missed something. I reflect upon the deplorable financial condition of poets and musicians (OK, not Michael Jackson – but look what happened to him!). I look upon the construction of the word. And I see a veiled reference to an ancient means of protecting artists from economic disaster:

CANTO, adj.. Free of debt. Usually at someone else's insistence.

How ancient? Consider the Torah (OK, Old Testament):

If you lend money to one of my people among you who is needy, do not be like a moneylender; charge him no interest. - Exodus 22: 25 (NIV)

The idea that debt is A Bad Thing, and debt with interest A Worse Thing, thus applies far more broadly than the famously-improvident guilds of artists, writers and musicians, and appears in the foundation writing of the Jewish, Christian, and Islamic (much of which is based on the Torah – yeah, that is ironic) traditions. In Iran, debt without usury (loaning at interest) is the law of the land.

What was that you said about your credit card, ye of the nation of In God We Trust?

I remember many years ago, when slot cars were all the rage in the northeastern United States. That was so long ago, flowers were still to be found in gardens, not on park benches in San Francisco. I had a very basic machine, one that wasn't doing very well on the track, and was looking to upgrade.

Until I saw the prices. Way out of my price range. When I said so to the fellow running the slot car parlor, he responded:

That's what credit cards are for.

I walked out of the place, never to return there (it went out of business shortly thereafter), never again to drive a slot car. I could not afford it, and would not - could not – be sucked into debt to do so.

If I had only continued to adhere to that principle, I would be a much happier man now.

Tell me again why We the People are so hacked off with Iran? Oh. Wait. Never mind.

   - O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2008 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

“GRIEF, ENVY AND STRIFE ARE POISON TO THE BONES…”  Proverbs

I admit that I struggle with trusting others.  The myriad of GOOD reasons is absolutely not important.
Besides it taking me a few weeks to spell it out, the DRAMA is not nearly as interesting as being guided to a new awareness.  And, I’m more than ready for that.

The Holy Spirit led me years ago to the scripture that quotes Jesus saying, “Fear is useless, what is needed is trust.”  Mark 5:36

Though that is a wonderful awareness, I have applied it more to my yo-yo finances and the raising of teenage sons as a single mom, and even survived hearing “this crime could result in the death sentence,” when my younger son found himself with the wrong guys at the wrong time in the wrong place.  I marvel at how GOOD God is when I reflect on how He saved AND changed my son’s life.  My son has grown to be strong in faith and character and is an incredible father…as is my older son.  I marvel at that!!!  And feel more than blessed.

So, now the lesson continues…with almost 9.5 years of marriage under our belts, my husband is growing weary of my lack of trust.  I could…once again…give a myriad of reasons for clinging so dearly to my accusations…those STINGS and hurts that somehow I remember but he doesn’t.

But, I’d rather explore a fascinating challenge that presented itself recently during a coaching session. 

WHAT IS THE PAYOFF FOR NOT LETTING GO…FOR NOT TRUSTING?  Maybe I should add to that, what is the payoff for not FORGIVING and letting go of the hurts.

One thing I realize, I love my husband.  I respect his work ethic…his conscientiousness, his devotion and loyalty to his clients.  He works hard, saves religiously, is fiscally responsible and is fore thinking.  He is growing in his faith and personal relationship with God…a quality that is increasingly more important to me.  He’s a loner, but enjoys being the life of the party…and a good party with friends delights him.

So, what IS the payoff?  Is it worth blinding myself to his qualities and gagging my praise and appreciation?   I’m no idiot, so off the top of my head I can quickly say “NO”.  But, in the midst of a challenge…a trust challenge…I fail miserably.    The payoff is…again from the top of my head…that I don’t have to be wrong, that I can protect myself from the “inevitable” or the common “man stuff…all guys mess around.”  I can protect myself from being hurt, I can be RIGHT.  Or maybe it’s easier to be angry and disappointed…that way I don’t have to expect anything good and be disappointed.  And, as would be with any good story, the EVENTS over the last 9.5 years as seen through the lens of “WHAT???” have been interpreted as attacks, so I’m justified.  I have a RIGHT to not trust…right???  I could DEAD RIGHT…SO COULD MY MARRIAGE…be DEAD that is!

What a dilemma.  And the TRUTH IS… “Fear is useless, what is needed is trust.”  And I haven’t got a CLUE how to translate that into my relationship.  I haven’t a clue what that looks like, smells like, taste like, sounds like or FEELS LIKE. 

When I trust my husband…when I follow the description of LOVE from 1 Chronicles:
Love is patient and kind, never puffed up, not easily offended, quick to forgive, quick to see the best in each other.   This is how I can respond through the Spirit…

When other women openly flirt with him in front of me and he’s obviously flattered by it…
I can be confident that he is loyal to me and allow him to be flattered.  I can know that he will protect our relationship; that “personal time” does not turn into infidelity.

When he says hurtful and critical things to me…
I can hear “blah, blah, blah” and know he’s just in one of his “Mr. Hyde” moods and doesn’t really mean it.

When he …as I imagine…seeks “private time”…
I don’t have to read it as rejection.  I can make sure I’m expressing my needs, and know that our intimacy…an open, trusting relationship…is far more important and far more real.  I don’t have to DEMAND what is already being so freely given.

When I reach to kiss him and he gives me a peck…and “air” peck, at that…
I can equate it with him learning how to HUG.  He has learned to be a good hugger and he enjoys and appreciates it!

When I reach for him to cuddle at night and he pushes me away…
I can give him his space and respect that he doesn’t LIKE being touched unsolicited…by ANYONE.

When I remember hurtful things he has said or done over the years…
I can pray…ask You, Father God, to forgive us both for not knowing how hurtful we can be to each other.  Ask YOU, Father God, to enable me to let it go and ask my husband  to forgive me for MAKING HIM WRONG.

When I find myself BAWKING, being angry, stomping my feet, hands on my hips, spewing out transgressions…
I can pause.  Be still.  Be aware of the pain.  Stay awake!  Acknowledge that it…the pain…has been there for years.  Acknowledge that I am afraid.  Stay with the pain and COMFORT myself by respecting that I’m afraid, and, at the same time, BE CONSCIOUS that I DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE FEAR!  CHOOSE JOY.  Choose NOT to control the outcome and believe that God is working all things to my good.

When I find myself in my HEAD, saying all the “right things” and my HEART far from the TRUTH…
I can forgive myself.  I can let the tears come and release the hurt.  I can comfort myself without judgment and acknowledge my insecurities and my lack of confidence.  I can ask YOU, Father God, to enable me to BE the truth that you have so patiently and consistently taught me…”Fear is useless, what is needed is trust.”  I can trust YOU.

I can’t imagine how wonderful these gifts really are, but I’m willing to imagine, feel, taste, see, hear and touch God’s best.  There is no amount of being “DEAD RIGHT” that is worth NOT RECEIVING God’s promise…having a “DEAD MARRIAGE”.

How to Let Go of Past Hurts
by Rick Warren

Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, “I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

First, relinquish your right to get even. Leave that up to God; he’ll take care of it (Romans 12:19). I’ve been married for thirty years and I’m ashamed to say, I’ve hurt my wife many times. But after thirty years, we’re still together and more in love than ever before. Why? Because it’s not hurt that destroys relationships, it’s an unwillingness to forgive. We’re human; we’re going to hurt each other. But the question is, will you give up your right to get even? And will you offer forgiveness? When you do, any hurt can be overcome.

Second, respond to evil with good. How can you tell when you’ve released somebody, when you’ve completely forgiven them? You can actually pray for God to bless the person who hurt you. The Bible says we should overcome evil with good, praying for those who hurt us (Romans 12:21; Matthew 5:44).

Third, repeat these steps as long as necessary. Forgiveness is rarely a one-time shot. When somebody hurts you, we tend to think about it over and over and over. How often do you have to forgive the person? The Apostle Peter once asked Jesus, “‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Mathew 18:21-22 NIV). In other words, it needs to be continual, limitless; we shouldn’t even try to count the times we forgive, just as Jesus doesn’t count the times he forgives us.

Fourth, begin telling others about God’s forgiveness. The Bible says, “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others. We are Christ’s ambassadors, and God is using us to speak to you. We urge you, as though Christ himself were here pleading with you, “Be reconciled to God!” (2 Corinthians 5:19-20 NLT).

"Here's a nice tall glass of Vitamin C."

He: "Oh? You got me carrot juice this morning?"

She: "Carrot juice? You mean you'd drink it? This is orange juice!"

He: "So it is. Well, that's senseless."

She: "I beg your pardon?"

He: "Dear, everybody knows that carrot juice is good for your eyes. That's gotta mean it's got vitamin C. Or it would if the names we have for things made any sense."

She: "I sense that I should be afraid to ask this, but ... what if they did?"

He: "Well, then you'd have Vitamin Hear, and Vitamin Taste, and Vitamin Touch, and ..."

She: "Smell the coffee, love. Didn't you say you were late for work?"

the confusion of double negatives:
(while eating Red Velvet Cake at California Pizza Kitchen)
"And you know, the way to a person's heart is through the stomach."
"You mean, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?"
"Yes! And he is a man, is he not?...Yes!...Wait, no!...Wait. Yeah, NO!"
(i still don't know about this one)

Taboo is one of my favorite games:
"Umm, this is kind of like...human,...in the mind?"
(the guy checking she doesn't say the taboo words makes an expression of WHAAAAAAAAAT??)
"Animal!"
"Yeah! It's an animal, and it swims..."
"Dolphin?"
"Yes! Dolphin"
"... 'Human, in the mind'??"
"Hey, that's the only way you can describe animal, okay!"

"Okay, so you know, like gangstas..."
(guy checking over her shoulder starts shaking his head...)
"OH, CRAP! NO! Wrong word. So...you know, when you're in front of a mirror, you..."
"Pose!"
"Yeah! Sorry, I thought the word was 'posse' at first."

"Uhh, I don't know what this is. I think it's like a turtle??"
(laughingly, the person checking for taboo words): "No, it's not."
"Oh, okay, crap, I don't know what this is. I'm skipping it."
(word: porpoise)
(not tortoise)

apparently, he worked out yesterday:
"I'm sooo sore. I'm as sore as...what's something that's sore? A loser? I'm as sore as a loser."

But the truth is, I was flattered.  Flattered that he likes my writing and flattered that he gave me what I needed: encouragement.  But he didn't hit me over the head with it.

She said much the same thing a couple of weeks ago.  And again, I didn't know how to take it.  I like to write, but I also like to say I lack the discipline to write.  Maybe that's just an excuse. I don't know.

Anyway, welcome to the newest experiment.  He made me do it.  And she did too.

"Oh?" She responded, wondering what convoluted path his brain has been meandering down this time. "Why?"

"Well," He said, "They already have Peking Duck. They don't need Peking Tom."

=========

Later, they were coming home from a gig, and She was weary. As they pulled into the driveway, She stirred and, to bring herself back into the world, said, "Wake up".

He offered, "Sorry, but I need a bowl."

That startled Her. "What?"

He explained. "A cup just isn't going to do it."

Anyway. Her current task is to come up with images that meet the criteria for something called Project Black. So She drags out this picture:

She: "Can I use it?"

He: "No."

She: "Why not?"

He: "You really wish to give your readers my finger? Even if you are, I'm not."

She: "I'm not interested in your finger. I'm interested in the bug on your finger!"

He: "So you're trying to tell your legions of fans that I bug you?"

She: "I'm trying to tell my legion of fans that the bug is black!"

He: "No it isn't. It's blue."

She: "It's black."

He: "It's blue. Here. See for yourself."

She: "Sure looks black."

He: "Looks can be deceiving. Even with your camera."

She: "What is it, anyway?"

He: "It's a ladybug."

She: "Not. Ladybugs have red backs with black spots."

He: "Not this one. It's got da blues, real bad."

She: "Weird. Does that mean it's native to Hawai‘i?"

He: "Would you believe Mexico, 99?"

She: "Don't get smart with me. How'd it get here from Mexico?"

He: "On account of the little old lady."

She: "What little old lady? Careful how you answer that."

He: "You're safe. Unless you've swallowed a fly lately."

She: "I sure hope not. What does that have to do with black ladybugs?"

He: "Blue ladybugs. Well, some thousands of years ago, the little old lady that is Hawai‘i got coconut trees. Then, about a century ago, the coconut trees got mealybugs. So the haole agriculture agents brought in the blue ladybugs to catch the coconut tree mealybugs. I don't know if anyone's brought in anything to catch the ladybugs. Yet. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider; she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I don't know why she swallowed the fly ..."

She: "I'm gonna die if I don't get something for my Project Black post! And isn't there any native wildlife on O‘ahu any more?"

He: "There's always the centipedes".

She: "Uhm, never mind."

Aloha, OC

[Clang. Clatter.]

"Ouch!" She yelled, then added, "I am out here in the kitchen poking holes in myself with sharp objects."

He sat on the couch watching the baseball game and didn't look up. "That isn't an activity I would recommend," he said.

"There is blood leaking out of me," she said.

"You've proven my point," he said, still without looking up.

"Hrumph!" She grumbled, and wrapped a bit of paper towel around her thumb and went on about her work.

Later, she sat beside him on the couch and reached for her laptop. She had removed the paper towel and washed and dried her hand, noting nothing amiss; but with just a bit of typing, the cut on her thumb reopened. "Look," she said, shoving her hand in his face, "Blood!"

He glanced at her thumb, gave her that look over the top of his glasses and said, "Get a Band-Aid."

She looked at him in a perplexed kind of "thinking it over" sort of way and queried, "Band-Aid?"

"That is what most people do when they have a cut," he answered.

"But --" she waved her finger for maximum blood display, "-- if I cover it up with a Band-Aid, how will I get any sympathy? Not," she said pointedly, "that I am getting much sympathy as it is."

He smirked at her and said, "I don't know why but there is a Band-Aid on the piano. Get it and paste it on your hand."

She said, "I am waiting for sympathy."

He said, "You can put the Band-Aid on so you'll have something to do while you wait."

Now what was the best part of that? As good as the music may be, their real talent lies in their ability to create unique and memorable music videos, which few bands can do these days, even those with a real budget. With that in mind, there's an obvious potential problem with Maldroid's debut album, simply (and ironically?) called Maldroid, in that is the music good enough to hold its own without the arguably more memorable video? After listening to the album (which is up in its entirety on their Fuzz page, if not entirely out of order), I think the music does in fact work despite the loss of video, and actually shows a lot of potential.

The album kicks off strongly with "Here We Go Again," which is just as catchy as dynamic as their big Youtube hits "He Said, She Said" and "Heck No! (I'll Never Listen to Techno)" and, interestingly, never had its own video, providing some of Maldroid's strongest proof that it doesn't necessarily have to make a great video to make great music. The album's first half continues with more clever social commentary in "Children of the Future" and "This is America" which, although not as good musically, show that Maldroid is smarter than I initially gave them credit for (come on, "Heck No!" was a song about how the worst part of the robots taking over the world would be their choice of music). The second half of the album (it's split up by an Interlude, so the halves are pretty much official) isn't quite as strong with the creepy "You Wanna Touch It" and "Yellow 52" and the love it or hate it "You Can Have It All", although it is saved by the aforementioned "He Said, She Said" and another song with a crafty video "Rock N Roll." While the songs are still great and catchy, it's hard not to think of the videos and the creativity the experience loses without them.

Overall, the album works just fine without the band's wonderful Youtubery. Although it overall feels likes it falls just short of greatness, there's plenty of potential here for future releases to improve and move the band beyond Youtube, and I'll be buying it on iTunes once I trust my iPod to work again...

Go to Dr. Chapman's website...
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ ...and take this 30-second quiz. 
Find out if you and your "mate" are speaking the same language!!

My hubby and I tested it out for you.  It's quite eye-opening.  I was "speaking love" to him the way I WANTED TO HEAR IT or have it expressed to me...and he was "speaking love" to me the way HE WANTED TO HEAR IT!   DUH...figure that out!!  Now we have insight into what we can "hear" from each other.  I will say "thank you" more often...even for the little things.  And he will hug me more...I'm HAPPY...he's HAPPY!!!

Check out Dr. Chapman's 30-second quiz for the "5 Languages of Apology"...that's VERY useful! 

Her - I had a little accident.
Him - What'd you do?
Her - I stuck my fingers together with expanding polyfiller foam!
Him - riiiiight
Her - It's ok, I fixed it!

Despite being a slight r-tard, the holes in the wall are refilled, the curtain hooks are back up and the house is spotless, including my wardrobes which have been cleaned out and clothing bundled for charity. I can get shit done with less than the required number of digits. I rock!

"You Make Me Sick!!"

Answer these simple questions...   

• Are you over-eating and gaining weight?
• Do youoften find yourself depressed or overly anxious?
• Do you have frequent headaches and/or chronic back or abdominal pains?
• Have you been diagnosed with hypertension or heart disease?

According to the Family Violence Prevention Fund, "ANY of these health problems may be the result of chronic stress from an abusive relationship."  Becoming aware of the connection between your relationship and your wellness can help you take action to have a healthier life!

My relationship is HEALTHY if...  

• My partner is willing to communicate openly when there is a problem.
• My partner gives me space to spend time with family, friends and other people.
• My partner is kind and supportive.

If these statements are true for you,  you are most likely in a healthy relationship which could lead to a much healthier you...both mentally and physically!!

My relationship is UNHEALTHY if...

• My partner criticizes me and makes me feel quilty...that everything is my fault.
• My partner is controlling...controls where I go, who I talk to, and how much money I spend.
• My partner has hurt me or threatened to hurt me, or has pressured me to have sex.

If ANY of these statements describe your partner, your health and safety may be in danger. 

What can you DO? 
REMEMBER...it is not your fault! 
You deserve to have a healthy, safe and loving relationship.  There ARE steps that you can take.

CALL the...
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224
for toll-free, 24-hour support for safety planning, housing options, legal advice and local referrals.

Check out the Domestic Violence website... www.endabuse.org ... to find out more about support systems and information to build stronger, safer, more productive relationships and families.

"The threat the government of Iran poses is anything but tiny... Let me be absolutely clear: Iran is a grave threat." McCain, fear mongering in Billings, MT.

Really now? Iran? You're going to say that the threat of mutually assured destruction from the Cold War is on par with Iran? Once we leave the quagmire that is Iraq, Iran will be capable of mutually assured irritation at best!

But let's make one thing clear... Barack is advocating policy change and dialogue with a country that is frankly growing more and more imperative to our success in Iraq ... McCain is demonizing that nation and saying not just that we shouldn't speak to them, but that we must fear them!

Can you say McCain = Business As Usual?

Meanwhile, the Republican attack machine is in full gear lying about spinning what Obama said such that they make it seem Obama feels Iran is less a threat than Switzerland. Luckily, half of American's probably don't know where Switzerland is, so that won't fly.