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Enter Through the Narrow Gate
21st Sunday in Ordinary Time
Isaiah 66:18-21; Hebrews 12:5-7, 11-13; Luke 13:22-30

There is a question that has always nagged believers: Will there be many or few people saved? During certain periods this problem became so acute as to cause some people terrible anxiety.

This Sunday's Gospel informs us that Jesus himself was once asked this question. "Jesus passed through towns and villages, teaching as he went and making his way to Jerusalem. Someone asked him, 'Lord, will only a few people be saved?'"

The question, as we see, focuses on the number -- How many will be saved? Will it be many or few? In answering the question, Jesus shifts the focus from "how many" to "how" to be saved, that is, by entering "through the narrow gate."

We see this same attitude in regard to Jesus' second coming. The disciples ask "when" the return of the Son of Man will happen and Jesus answers indicating "how" we should prepare ourselves for that return, and what to do during the time of waiting (cf. Matthew 24:3-4).

Jesus' way of responding to these questions is not strange or discourteous. He is just acting in the way of one who wants to teach his disciples how to move from a life of curiosity to one of true wisdom; from the allure of idle questions to the real problems we need to grapple with in life.

From this we already see the absurdity of those who, like the Jehovah Witnesses, believe they know the precise number of the saved: 144,000.

This number, which recurs in the Book of Revelations has a purely symbolic value (the square of 12 -- the number of the tribes of Israel -- multiplied by 1,000) and is explained by the expression that immediately follows: "A great multitude that no man could number" (Revelations 7:4, 9).

Above all, if 144,000 is really the number, then we can both close up shop. Above the gate to heaven there must be a sign like the ones parking lots put up: "Full."

If, therefore, Jesus is not so much interested in revealing to us the number of the saved as he is in telling us how to be saved, we can understand what he is trying to tell us here. In substance, there are two things: one negative and the other positive.

It is useless, or rather it is not enough, to belong to a certain ethnic group, race, tradition, or institution, not even the chosen people from whom the Savior himself comes. What puts us on the road to salvation is not a title of ownership ("We ate and drank in your presence..."), but a personal decision, followed by a consistent way of life. This is even more clear in Matthew's text which contrasts two ways and two gates, one narrow and the other wide (cf. Matthew 7:13-14).

Why are these ways respectively called "narrow" and "wide"? Is it perhaps that the way of evil is always easy and pleasant to follow and the way of goodness always hard and tiresome?

Here we must be careful not to cede to the usual temptation of believing that here below everything goes magnificently well for the wicked and everything goes terribly for the good.

The way of the wicked is wide, but only at the beginning. As one goes down this way it gradually becomes narrow and bitter. In any case, it becomes very narrow at the end because it finishes in a blind alley.

The joy that is experienced in it has the characteristic of diminishing more and more as one tastes it, and it finally causes nausea and sadness. We see this in certain forms of intoxication experienced in drugs, alcohol and sex. A larger dose or stronger stimulation is needed each time to produce pleasure of the same intensity.

Finally the organism no longer responds and it begins to break down, even physically.

The way of the just is instead narrow at the beginning, when one starts off on it, but it then becomes a spacious boulevard because hope, joy and peace of heart are found in it.

ISTANBUL, October 10 (Compass Direct News) – An Egyptian Coptic Christian woman has been sentenced to three years in prison for failing to uphold her Islamic identity – an identity she didn’t know she had for over four decades.

Sisters Shadia and Bahia Nagy El-Sisi, both in their late 40s and residents of the small east Delta town Mit-Ghamr, were arrested and tried for claiming their official religious identity as Christian. Unknown to them, their religious identity officially changed 46 years ago due to their father’s brief conversion to Islam. Both are illiterate.

Shadia El-Sisi was tried for stating her religion as Christian on her marriage certificate and sentenced to three years in prison on Nov. 21, 2007. She was released two months later. Last Sept. 23 a judge also sentenced Bahia El-Sisi to three years in prison for “forging” her marriage certificate by stating her religion as Christian.

Their father, Nagy El-Sisi, converted to Islam in 1962 during a brief marital dispute in order to divorce his wife and potentially gain custody of his daughters, the sisters’ lawyer Peter Ramses told Compass.

Egyptian law is influenced by Islamic jurisprudence (sharia), which automatically awards child custody to whichever parent has the “superior” religion and dictates “no jurisdiction of a non-Muslim over a Muslim.”

If Bahia El-Sisi’s identity as a Muslim stands, then her religious status could potentially create a domino effect that would require her husband to convert to Islam or have their marriage nullified. Her children, too, would be registered as Muslims. Both women are married to Christians.

“All of their children and grandchildren would be registered as Muslims,” Ramses said. “[The ruling] would affect many people.”

Other sources said it is too soon to determine the fate of the sisters’ marriages and families, as neither of their cases have been finalized.

‘But I Am a Christian’

A few years after his conversion, Nagy El-Sisi returned to his family and Christianity. He sought the help of a Muslim employee in the Civil Registration Office, Ramadan Muhammad Hussein, who agreed to forge his Christian identification documents. Reversion back to Christianity for converts to Islam has been nearly impossible in Egyptian courts.

The daughters discovered they were still registered as Muslims when Hussein was arrested for forgery in 1996 and confessed he had helped El-Sisi obtain fake documents three decades earlier. El-Sisi was later arrested.

When the two daughters visited him in prison, they were detained and accused of forging their Christian identification documents, according to national weekly Watani. A criminal court gave them each a three-year prison sentence in absentia in 2000.

Shadia El-Sisi was arrested in August 2007, three days before her son’s wedding. Her first hearing was on Nov. 21, 2007 at the Shobra El-Khema criminal court; she asserted that she had no idea of her so-called conversion to Islam. Judge Hadar Tobla Hossan sentenced her to three years in prison.

Confronted with the sentence, Shadia El-Sisi kept repeating, “But I am a Christian. I am a Christian,” according to Watani.

She was in prison until Jan. 13, when Prosecutor-General Abdel Meged Mahmood retracted the sentence because she was unaware of her conversion by proxy and due to legal technicalities that voided incriminating evidence.

The advocacy group Egyptians Against Religious Discrimination also pressured the judiciary through a signature drive to release her from prison.

Bahia El-Sisi went into hiding following her sister’s imprisonment, but came out after news of her release. Legal experts believe that when Bahia El-Sisi’s case comes before the Supreme Court, her sentence will be retracted as her sister’s was, as their cases have no legal foundation.

Early in the morning of May 5, however, police arrested Bahia El-Sisi and held her in jail until her hearing on July 20, after which she was released pending the verdict.

On Sept. 23 she was sentenced to three years in prison for “forgery of an official document,” as her marriage license states her religion as “Christian.” Bahia El-Sisi was married years before learning of her father’s brief conversion.

Ramses will appeal to Egypt’s Supreme Court in next week. He said he worries the case could further erode the precarious situation of religious minorities in the Muslim-majority country of 79 million.

“How can the government say to [someone] who has lived 50 years in a Christian way that they must become a Muslim and their children must be Muslim and their whole family must all be Muslims?” he said. “This is very important for the freedom of religion.”

Egypt’s constitution guarantees freedom of belief and practice for the country’s Christian minority, which makes up 10 percent of the population. Islam, however, is the official state religion and heavily influences the government and court system.

The case is an example of the social pressure put on Egyptian non-Muslims to convert when one of their parents embraces Islam, despite the constitution guaranteeing equality, said Youssef Sidhom, editor-in-chief of Watani.

“This is a sick environment that we struggle to change,” Sidhom stated. “According to what is taking place here freedom is protected and provided for Christians to convert to Islam while the opposite is not provided.”

Egyptian courts have continued to discriminate against Christians who have one Muslim parent, according to human rights reports, as the judiciary gives them no choice but to convert to Islam.

On Sept. 24 an Alexandria court awarded custody of 14-year-old Christian twins to their Muslim father even though the twins said they were Christians who wanted to stay with their mother. Egyptian civil law grants child custody to their mothers until the age of 15.  

Report from Compass Direct News

NEW DELHI, October 10 (Compass Direct News) – After police in the eastern state of Orissa confirmed this week that Maoists killed Hindu nationalist leader Swami Laxmanananda Saraswati, a Hindu extremist group circulated allegedly forged documents in an attempt to implicate a local church in the Aug. 23 murder.

The Hindu Jagaran Samukhya (Society for Revival of Hinduism or HJS) circulated documents saying the plan to kill Saraswati in Kandhamal district was made at a meeting at Bethikala Church on May 25 attended by 17 people following a briefing and command from religious leaders, the Press Trust of India news agency reported yesterday.

Local Christian leaders responded by saying they will file defamation charges.

“We will file both civil and criminal defamation cases against the person who made such allegations,” Father Joseph Kalathil from the Catholic Archbishop House in Bhubaneswar and the Rev. Fr. Prafulla Ku Sabhapati, president of the Bethikala Parish Council of Kandhamal, said in a statement. “Not only our signatures were forged, the contents of the documents were also fabricated.”

On Oct. 6 Orissa state police confirmed that Maoists killed Saraswati, a day after the chief of the Orissa unit of the banned Communist Party of India-Maoist, Sabyasachi Panda, told NDTV 24X7 news that his organization was behind the murder.

The Maoists killed Saraswati because he was a key leader of the Vishwa Hindu Parishad (World Hindu Council or VHP), Panda told the channel. The VHP, he said, used non-tribal traders’ money to build VHP’s youth wing, Bajrang Dal, and ran a campaign against Christians, falsely accusing them of forced conversions and killing cows, considered holy by Hindus.

“This forced us to attack him,” Panda said. “We left two letters claiming responsibility for the murders. But the [Chief Minister Naveen] Patnaik government suppressed those letters. It is a BJP [Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party] government; they will support the VHP. The state government made it look like Christian groups were responsible for the attack. The Christian community in Orissa does not have any Maoist organization supporting them here.”

There were also reports, however, of the Orissa police having arrested three tribal Christians in connection with Saraswati’s murder. The Indian Express reported that the three had confessed their involvement.

A representative of the Christian Legal Association told Compass that according to sources, the police had tortured the three Christians to pressure them to confess a crime they did not commit.

After the assassination of Saraswati, Hindu extremist groups blamed local Christians and began attacks on them, their houses and their churches. The worst violence against Christians in modern India erupted in spite of the Orissa police and media stating on the day of the murder that suspected Maoists killed Saraswati.

According to the All India Christian Council, more than 60 people have been killed, more than 18,000 injured and around 4,500 houses and churches destroyed in the “retributive” violence. Two Christian women, including a nun, were also gang-raped. The violence, which later spread to at least 14 districts of Orissa, has left more than 50,000 people homeless.

Attacks Continue

Orissa’s Kandhamal district remained tense even 48 days after the violence began.

Yesterday about 15 houses were burned down by a mob in the Lansaripalli village in Kantamal Block of neighboring Boudh district, The Hindu reported. The attackers came from the Gochhapada area of Kandhamal district.

“Thursday’s was the third incident in Boudh district,” added the daily. “More than 100 houses were burnt down in two separate attacks in the past few days.”

On Wednesday (Oct. 8), a mob burned and looted at least 25 houses belonging to Christians in the Balligada village under Daringbadi police station in Kandhamal’s Nuagam Block, Father Ajay Singh of the Catholic Archdiocese of Bhubaneswar told Compass.

On Tuesday (Oct. 7), over five houses were torched in Jalespanga area under Phiringia police jurisdiction in Kandhamal. Another house was burned in the Sujeli village of G. Udayagiri Block the same day.

The Hindu also said the more than 16,000 Christians living in various relief camps were not returning to their villages, fearing attacks on them if they refused to convert to Hinduism.

Fr. Singh from the Bhubaneswar Archdiocese told Compass that over 12,000 Christians from various relief camps had moved out of Kandhamal to other districts and states, as they feared more attacks.

Supporting Violence

The president of the VHP, Ashok Singhal, told Zee News channel on Sunday (Oct. 5), “What Hindu organizations including the VHP, the Bajrang Dal and the RSS [Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, India’s chief Hindu nationalist group] are doing in Orissa is all legal and is the reaction of the murder of VHP leader Saraswati, who was like Jesus Christ to us.”

In an interview with The Week magazine (Oct. 5), Singhal said that Hindu youth are “ready to die and, if necessary, to kill. [Their] patience is ebbing.”

Singhal added that a “Hindu uprising” had begun, “and the political parties will have to rethink and reinvent themselves, for their own existence. If there is no arrangement for Hindus’ security, they’ll do it on their own. The Hindus will not die. If that self-defence is militancy, so be it … the Hindu never went around the world for suzerainty or to convert ... now they are here, undermining us. That causes anger. In fact many want to fight back this harvesting of Hindus.”

In addition, a leader of the Bajrang Dal in the southern state of Karnataka admitted to supporting recent attacks on churches while speaking to The Week magazine. “We supported those who attacked the churches, as it is a justified fight,” Bajrang Dal convenor Mahendra Kumar said.

The violence in Orissa spread to several other states, including Karnataka, where around 20 churches were destroyed and 20 Christians were attacked in the recent weeks.

As many political parties and rights groups have demanded a ban on the Bajrang Dal for attacking Christians and churches in Orissa and other states, the federal government ruled by the United Progressive Alliance has mandated the National Integration Council to give its recommendations, reported the Times of India today.

The Bajrang Dal, however, warned that any such move would have “grave consequences” for the government politically, saying there was “no legal ground” for such an action.

There are 897,861 Christians in Orissa, which has a population of 36.8 million.  

Report from Compass Direct News

The question on what I "want to do with my life" has surfaced again and GOD, I have a feeling, has been placing it on my conscience. Which is exactly what I have been asking in my prayers to him for. I have been really focused on efficiency in every part of my life as well.. I have been zoning down on how much I drink and eat and how much electricity and water I use. I have been writing things down like "when's the right time to wash your sheets and blankets" or "what temperature should it be for me to open my windows". Things are becoming more planned out in my life. I have attempted this several times but have failed every time. Over controlling the wrong things in my life and uncontrolling the right. Hopefully I don't fail this time.

Also I have a strong desire to write articles. Not like spur of the moment papers but looking up sources and putting it in my own words.  I have been rewriting almost everything I write so it sounds more fluid to read as well as to speak. No doubt I will rewrite this over and over again. Again I feel this is the LORD's annswer to my prayers to be more diligent in my work and have a passion for it. The idea of a podcast has also been floating around in my head.

On an off-beat subject I would like to ask in this entry if I can write a essay of sorts to my friend Zac about my beliefs surrounding 9/11. I know he won't look it up for himself but maybe he would consider it if I wrote it it to him.

Oh and I will post the other things, the papers up as well.

I sure pray this keeps up!

Here, I continue with part 3 of my series of posts about the Gospel as interpreted by T.F. Torrance in his book The Mediation of Christ; a book in harmony with Who Jesus is and the ancient Church's view. This time I will tackle only paragraph 3, which says:

"Jesus Christ died for you precisely because you are sinful and utterly unworthy of him, and has thereby already made you his own before and apart from your ever believing in him. He has bound you to himself by his love in a way that he will never let you go, for even if you refuse him and damn yourself in hell his love will never cease. Therefore, repent and believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour."

This passage is loaded yet again with the tremendous Good News about Jesus and all of Humanity in Him!

Suppose you were in a life and death situation, and you desperately wanted to live! You could only grab either a strong chain, and survive, or grab a weak chain, and die. Which one would you grab in order to live? Isn't it EASY to evaluate what you would do in order to live?

In another scenario, what if your small child was hanging precariously from a cliff, and their only options for survival were to a.) grab your hand with their small strength, or b.) have you grab their small hand in your HUGE strength (by comparison). What would YOU do to see them saved; to see them be who they already are in their relationship with you, forever?

That's easy, too!! YOU WOULD TAKE A HOLD OF THEM AND SAVE THEM! Wouldn't you?!

In the above statement, Torrance is trying to make this dynamic in our relationship with Jesus clear! By definition, sin means being "weak!" - or having no REAL purity of strength; being powerless and tainted! It means humanity hanging precariously from a cliff toward permanent death and non-existence (as Athanasius might have put it).

Now, what is God, being good and gracious to do? Is he to be seen as worse than you? Would he give his child only the option of grabbing His Huge Hand and holding on for dear life, or else? Or, is our Father to be seen as he is revealed in Christ? One who knows and sees that you and I are utterly incapable and unworthy of Him; as the Father who knows that if He is to have us permanently with Him, He must take a hold of us?!

Just as our "natural" reaction to our child in the above predicament would be to grab them and not present them with or even ask them which option they wanted, we, too, have been taken hold of by Jesus apart from our believing and doing anything! And, in fact, wouldn't you (if you had all strength and power) grab a hold of your child and NEVER LET THEM GO?!

C'mon now, be for real!!! If for whatever reason you can't think of your child in this way, then substitute any person that you REALLY love and care for!! After all, God SOOOO LOVED the World (cosmos) that He gave His only begotten Son..." - John 3:16! In other words, the Father, Son and Spirit put His full weight and strength as God behind securing us from disappearing forever down the gaping "sin hole" in Jesus - the fullness of God in a human body!!" Col 2:9!!

For one who already believes in Jesus Christ, we believe that with the exception of Jesus Christ, or the Son of God made flesh, everyone has sinned in human flesh! This makes everyone too weak to be saved by their own decision, belief or faith doesn't it? If God requires 100% faith for salvation from someone who obviously can't offer it, then it stands to reason they could never be saved, right? All humans, by scripture, are in just such a position! Romans 3!

How then are we all to be saved UNLESS Jesus saves us? Unless Jesus steps into into our exact position and lives and does for us what we obviously cannot do for ourselves? And if what Jesus did to save us was done 2000 years ago, doesn't it stand to reason that it had to be done to all of us - then?! How can we escape such clear and godly logic as revealed in Jesus and through careful discernment of the scriptures?

Finally, Torrance concludes this paragraph with the proper and Trinitarian Who is Jesus logic! If the Triune God has thrown His weight behind grabbing a hold of us in the Person of Jesus Christ, who could dare escape such an eternal grip?! I mean, this is THE Father grasping us in HIS Son, in THE Spirit! This isn't some human fable about Superman, Ironman or, God forbid, the Incredible Hulk!

I have seen some women leave an audience of many people with their child bound firmly in their grip while the child was throwing a tantrum of the most violent sort! You have probably seen or even done this, too! Solely because of the child's temper and action, combined with the parents fury (and pride because of the public spectacle), that child was NOT going to escape the parental grip, no matter what! They might hurt themselves TRYING to get out of the parents embrace, but it was them, the child, who was going to get hurt, NOT the parent or the parents pride!! No Way!! :-) You can feel me, can't you!! Ha-Ha!! :-)

God's grip on humanity is similar to this real life scenario! Because Jesus (God!) has taken hold of us in his godly pride, and not have us be a spectacle of the enemy, he has taken hold of us in such a way that he will NEVER let us go! The only thing that is going to happen, that can happen, to us, if we don't ever line up with our embrace in the Father's arm is get hurt! Experience hell! Be damned in God's grip!

But God will be damned before that should ever happen! We will be who we are, and He will have us with Him - embraced and in His arms - regardless!! Therefore, we might as well repent! We might as well respond to the loving nature of the grip and live in proper alignment with it, and not live alien to it! It starts hurting too badly to keep flinging our elbows in anger and breaking our own jaws and bones in the process! The Father's grip on all of humanity, in Christ, is NOT going away! He will be our God and we will be his people!

Believe in His Love, therefore! Be and Live in His embrace with obedience! Do not Be and die in His embrace in disobedience! BUT - whether we live or whether we die - we are the Lord's - forever and always! Romans 14:8!

Iain Harvey is the man behind Illuminated Films success. He's responsible for making classic animations like the 'Very Hungry Caterpillar' and 'The Snowman'. I recently discovered them after reading the book 'Animation Now!' by Anima Mundi/ Ed. Julius Wiedemann, which is very good for getting creative inspiration from. I've always loved their films and it's good to know the people who make them, although their latest venture into animated feature film with the 2001 Christmas Carol wasn't much to shout about. I hope to see more from them soon.
See the work at illuminatedfilms.com

CONCLUSION:

I need to wrap this up as the first visit since this ordeal commences tonight at 6pm!  UGH!  You all need to pray for my babies as they are gone over the next 48 hours.  And for me, the mama sitting at home and trying to function through my fear for them. 

AHH - Justice System who has the best interest of my minor children in mind – how I love thee!

As Red and Hively talked the tale unraveled, and I was left with nausea.

On Friday night, Hively had been unable to sleep but just lay on the couch (because neither if them have a room there and he has no bed there) and flipped through television channels for hours (WHAT? What channels honey? Have y’all seen what can be found on a cable channel in the wee hours?) before daddy came to check on him.  My children have always told me that they will never go get their dad if they wake in the night.  They fear being in trouble from their step-mother because going into get their father may wake the brother who does have a bedroom located adjacent to theirs.

On Saturday they went to Chuck E. Cheese (this is why you should avoid this place with your off spring!  Especially on the weekends when “part-time” parents go there because they are the “fun” parent).  Hively says he made a few trips to the restroom while there because he thought he was going to throw-up.  He also says that while in the over-head climber he couldn’t move around because he couldn’t breathe.  Back at the homestead, there was an incident where Hively did throw-up.  He was yelled at and had paper towels thrown at him and was made to clean up his own vomit.  He was followed around with Lysol and everything he touched was sprayed down, as well as requiring him to obsessively wash his hands and stay away from the little brother there.  Then on Saturday evening around 9pm Red gave Hively her bed to sleep in for the night.  He was coughing and coughing.  (I have been the primary care giver for 8 years of his life.  For 6 of those he has had diagnosed Asthma.  I am confident if I had heard that cough I would have known it as his “asthma cough”.  This cough is when I step in and intervene with a puffer, with a breathing treatment, with a doctor visit.)  Red proceeds to tell me that while this coughing was going on, the step mother said (something along the lines of), “Great, how are any of us going to get any sleep tonight with that going on?”  Yes, that is right.  My child was in respiratory distress and she was concerned about her beauty sleep. 

On Sunday morning is when I was called and this story began.  Except for the minor detail where Red was left at the house with the step mother and brother.  They went to get the step mother some breakfast from Burger King (no, not my daughter, just herself.)  When my son was admitted his father called there to tell her to bring Red up to the hospital so I could get her back home.  She had her sister-in-law come over to keep the brother and when they were talking something was said about me to the effect of why would I be mad about having to come over there and the step mothers response was, “who knows it’s HER, SHE gets mad about EVERYTHING.”  In front of my daughter who was already scared and nervous because her brother was so very sick, adding to her anxiety to be worried about me and was I going to be upset when I arrived there.

These people are a joke!  After I came home and was SO PISSED!  I would not talk to my ex.  And he KNEW why.  But it took him a few days to come out and ask if I had a problem.  I simply said I did but I needed time to calm down before discussing it.  He then proceeded to harass me into talking then and there and I proceeded to not answer my phone because it was in EVERYONES best interest for me to cool off before the discussion took place.

As I said at the beginning of this conclusion, the next visit is upon us so this week I had the discussion.  Where, I tried to remain non-accusatory and non-confrontational.  Where, he denied any wrong doing, going as far to say he would do nothing different.  Where, he denied a lot of the things both children said happened.  Where, he even went further and called back for a second discussion because he asked his wife about her comments and place in this story and she also denied saying any of these things.  And finally where he accused me of feeding these tales to my kids and could I please not do such things because he is their father and he does love them and he would do anything for them. 

Yes, this man truly believes he is in the right in this story.  This man truly believes he and his wife are “GOOD” to my babies.  This man truly believes that “claiming” to love someone and “claiming” you will do anything for them are enough, that actual actions are just a bi-product.

So the tale is done and over I hope.  We have made a mutual agreement that if my children are sick they can just stay home and if they get sick while in his care he will contact me and bring them home.  We will just have to wait and see how long that holds out…….…and pray!

– PRAY A LOT!

Quite unexpectedly this morning, I found myself using a phrase which my father often used. I'm more inclined to use expressions that have come down from my mother - she had a more imaginative use of language - but I realise there are a few sayings which are totally my father's voice.

The one I used was stick in till ye stick oot.  If you'd asked me, I'd have said that I got this from Oor Wullie of blessed memory - the wee laddie wi' tackety buits wha sat oan a bucket - but I can clearly hear my father saying it. I googled the phrase out of interest and found it in a Canadian book - I wonder when the phrase crossed the Atlantic. It is of course urging us to eat so much (stick in) until our bellies swell (stick oot). Let's just say my father appreciated his food.

He also referred to my brother and I as Pip and Squeak.  Of course, we found this intensely embarrassing.  I always thought it was something to do with lemons and their squeaky pips, so imagine my surprise to see, in my copy of Nigel Rees' Phrases and Sayings, that Pip and Squeak were cartoon characters in a newspaper strip from 1920 to the 1940s. Pip was a dog and Squeak a female penguin.  So my brother was a dog and I was a penguin - hmmm.  If we'd had another sibling, no doubt Dad would have used the third name in the list of characters - Wilfred, a baby rabbit!

From lemons to cheese then... the third phrase I remember (which comes with actions that are by turn terrifying and comic to a small child) is smell cheese and tremble.  You were required to draw near to my father's outstretched palm on which he rested his other hand made into a downward-facing fist 'come on, smell the cheese'.  Then, in a fierce voice accompanied by the motion of his fist heading straight for your nose '... and TREMBLE!'  I was hardly ever amused by it and nearly always embarrassed (at best) or simply terrified (at worst). Dad went on to do this little action/phrase with his grandchildren - guaranteed to make a baby or toddler howl, to be honest...  Where this whole thing comes from, heaven knows.

Now that I'm older, reasonably settled and have a path in life; my father has been on my mind. It would be a shame if he passes or if our paths never cross again. I wonder if he has moments where a memory of me invades his entire day or if he ever just wants to know what I look like. I have one picture of my father and his last name, and that's no longer enough, but how do I find someone that has made no effort or has shown no interest in me? It was easy to answer that question, nothing was done, nothing has been done and I'm fatherless now. I feel the loss every time I look at his picture, see other fathers with their daughters or I see his features in a strangers face.

How do I move on?

The father, Karthik Rajaram, left two suicide notes and a will. In the notes he described the financial pressure he was under because he had lost his job. Although the family lived in a gorgeous gated community in the foothills of the Santa Susanna mountains, they didn't own the house. All that glittered wasn't gold.

In the suicide notes, the father felt that things had gotten so bad that he was left with only two choices. He could kill himself, in which case his family would suffer emotionally--because of his loss--and financially, because he was the only person who worked in the home. Choice number 2: Kill everyone, including himself. That way, no one suffers. Somehow, the financial box he was in had stolen every other choice from him, save two.

It's easy to dismiss this guy as nut-job who should've known that he had more options than to kill himself or his family. But if you live long enough, circumstances in life just might put you in a place where you can see only few options. I haven't been around that long, but I've been there a few times.

Several years ago I remember being profiled and stopped by a police officer who proceeded to rip out the dashboard of my car in search of drugs. I had been married less than a week and my new bride was with me. He patted me down and started moving to do the same to her when I said to him like, "You're not gonna touch my wife." He called for back-up and few more officers came, including a female who checked my wife. I felt more powerless that night than I had at any point in my life before. He had no right to stop us. He embarrassed us, just because he could. That night I felt like I had one choice, and that was to hunt down that officer and kill him. I'm ashamed to say it, but that's how I felt.

Even though I felt like doing the unthinkable, I knew I had other options. I knew even then that my "struggle [was] not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12). Translation? The stuff that happened to me had a lot to do with an evil force led by Satan, bent on doing me harm (1 Peter 5:8).

If Satan can make you feel totally hopeless and powerless to change your situation, he's got you right where he wants you. Then, he can streamline your choices and push you in the direction of making the wrong one. But I've got some bad news for him, which is great news for you and me. God is so into powerlessness!

In 2 Corinthians 12:10 Paul, a servant of Jesus, wrote: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Wait, did this guy just say that he "delights" in trials? Only fools do that, right? When you read 2 Corinthians 12 altogether, you discover that this guy had a really bad problem that he begged God to take from his life, but God refused. Instead, God told Him "My grace is sufficient (enough) for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (verse 5).

God was telling Paul, bring the problem to Me. I'll help you deal with it, because I'm much stronger than you. You can try to fix it yourself, but it wont work. You have another choice, and that's to let me help you. Paul got so good at handing over his problems to God that he took pleasure in doing so. He (delighted) in the process. Why? Because He had faith that God would see him through.

Do you feel caught? Are you running out of options? Tell God about your problem, ask for His help, and then trust Him.

Sunshine 

    

Sunshine is a reflection of her soul
Feeling to the depths of her being

She feels the heat of the sun
Her dimples shine as she smiles genuinely

She remembers all those who love her
Those who called her sunshine

She climbs out of her shell
Into the world born again

She grows stronger as the sun rises
She will always remember her name

 

Dedicated to: My father Jim Mirassou

Heather Mirassou

But in thinking about what I will write about... I have decided to combine this with #008 - Forgive My Father.  Which will make NaNoWriMo a little heavy, but also purposeful. 

I am going to try to do some planning before I dive headlong into it, but the basic premise is that I want to write about three significant events from each perspective - mine and my father's.  Forcing myself to step into his shoes (as a character) and write about how he could have been feeling, his values, his beliefs, his reactions to me, his thoughts, his outcomes, his regrets ...and juxtaposition it with those of my own (that I know so well) will hopefully help me to humanise him and help me to forgive.

Huge, huh?  I decided this on Monday, and today I found a post on a Buddhist blog I read:

Essentially, we need to turn, and this will be ever so slowly at first, the relationship around. It's the first turn that's the hardest. It starts with what we tell ourselves about the other person. We try to still the negative chatter and replace it with something positive. Also, we look for their suffering. We replace our frustrated, complaining thoughts with those that are empathetic and caring. Then we'll be ready.  

Read the rest of the post here.

Not only ask, but be interested in it. No only be interested in it, but be happy for me.

And not only be happy for me, but be happy for himself.

Because I am proud of him.

My father was never a bad person. He never had intentions of hurting others, and if he didhe'd walk around the house with a look on his face that would make any other facial expression look incapable. And I am truly thankful for the way that he is, because the compassion the man I call my father has, is the exact same compassion that I live with today.And despite of the things that he didn't do, I love him for the things he isn't. I am simply more grateful because he isn't the father I imagined. He's better.

thats cool that you decided to turn to drugs because you had too much money to just do nothing with.

troubled girl from a white-collar family who thinks nobody understands her, yeah thats the worst.

It's always the white-collared ones that are so vocal, believing they have it the worst.  Airing their issues because they know everyone around them will jump to their plea and give them the most expensive help they can find.

fuck it.

thats cool your "daddy" went to the bar & slept a woman.  your daddy is divorced.

the man who is supposedly my father went to many bars and slept with many women.  he is still married to my mom and lives where i live.

i caught my "daddy" watching porn when i was 7 years old.

i caught my "daddy" sneaking liquor into the house because thats what was most important.

i caught my "daddy" taking money out of my bank account to gamble.

i caught my "daddy" screw up our family.

i caught my "daddy" keep us high and dry with no money.

i caught my mom slip into depression.

i caught my mom breaking down.

i caught my mom breaking things.

i caught myself carving art into my skin.

i caught my soul trying to vanish, trying to die.

and i caught my heart turning to ice.

In Memory of Rev. Alfred Coletti,
ordained Assemblies of God minister for 50 years - and my dear dad!

Enjoy one of the last sermons Dad preached: "The Blessed Hope of the Church"."

+ + + + + + + + +

"I cried, 'Carry Me, Daddy,' - and He did!"

Bible reading:
"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms...(Deuteronomy 33:27 KJV)."

I remember my daddy's arms. "Carry me, Daddy," I would plead in my five-year-old little girl voice. It was a long way home--and we had no car. Little legs would only work so far--and Daddy knew that. His strong arms would pick me up and carry me the rest of the way home. He's home now--with the Lord--but I still remember Daddy's arms...

"Abba, Father," I cry. "Carry me, hold me, help me. I can't go another step further." And those strong arms of my Heavenly Father pick me up and carry me home, into His very presence where I am safe, I am secure, I am loved. His arms are there for you today--whatever your need. Reach out--and you'll find His arms already open, waiting to hold and love you, to carry you when you can't go one step further. He's our Heavenly Father--and "underneath are the everlasting arms." Believe it--and have a great day!

--Copyright 2008 by Peggie Bohanon, Springfield, MO. All rights reserved.

--Featuring: "Footprints in the Sand!" . . . Father's Love Letter

--Copyright 2008 by Peggie C. Bohanon, Springfield, MO 65803.

Recommended links: The Lord's Prayer - sung by a 2-year-old.

Pastor Appreciation at Peggie's Place!

Prayer: "Lord, I can't go a step further without Your help today. I need to feel Your arms around me, carrying me, holding me, telling me that everything's going to be ok--because YOU are in charge. Help me feel Your special love--and your sacred arms--this day. In Jesus' Name, Amen."

Dad's favorite Scripture: "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21 KJV)."

Dad's favorite songs
"I'd Rather Have Jesus" by George Beverly Shea
"The Love of God" - by David Phellps, Guy Penrod, Joy Gardner

...and his favorite candy: Russell Stover chocolates!

+ + + + + +

Dad-related Devotionals at Peggie's Place!

"Roots 'n Wings...for Real!"

"Ohhhh, God!"
"A Personal Faith"
"Abraham, Isaac, Jacob--and ME!" . . . "The Day Daddy Prayed for Me!"

OK, Mom, equal time for you, and it's not even your birthday!
"Forgiveness Is Like Chicken Soup!"
"Tie a Knot and Hold On!"

+ + + + +

THE FATHERHOOD CYCLE

4 years: "My Daddy can do anything."

7 years: "My Dad knows a lot, a whole lot."

12 years: "Oh, well - naturally - Father doesn't know that either."

14 years: "Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned."

21 years: "Oh, that man is so out-of-date. What did you expect?"

25 years: "He knows a little bit about it - but not much."

30 years: "Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks."

35 years: "Let's ask Dad what he would do before we make a decision."

40 years: "I wonder what Dad would have thought about that? He was pretty smart."

50 years: "My Dad knew absolutely everything."

60 years: "I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him. I really miss that man."

--Selected from Mikey's Funnies.

Visit Peggie's Place for many more Christian resources!

Everything changed when I was 12 years old. I went to my church camp, like I always did, and was having a great time. On the last night of camp my senior pastor, Pastor Ken Wilde, came and wanted to pray for people. I was down in front worshipping, and pastor Ken came to me and begn to say, " God is your dad". He began praying to God saying, " God tell Kyle you are his dad, God let him know You are his father". I began to weep openly because for the first time in my life since the divorce, I realized I did have a father that cared for me, I had a Dad that had never left me, that always loved me and held me in His heavenly arms. His name is Jesus.

I have been living in that truth ever since. When I feel as if the world is coming down on me and I need someone to talk to who could understand, I go to my heavenly Father. Living in that truth has changed my life. I no longer live as if I don't have a father with me. Because God my father is always with me. To walk with me, to hold me up, for me to talk to. I thank Him every day for never leaving me. I know that He never will.

I'm here to tell anyone who has come from a broken home, who has suffered from divorce, that your home isn't broken because Jesus, the Father is right there with you through it all. And He will never leave you or forsake you.

_Kyle

If parenting is so easy to give advice about, then why does everyone DO so badly at it? And why are there only "Mommy Dearest" books and not "Daddy Dearest" books? A father apparently only ruins your life by leaving or beating you, but mommy is the psychic destroyer, scapegoat for all ills real or imagined.

Yesterday, my son's teacher took me aside and told me Ed had been all upset because he didn't get a candy apple.

The school is very good about giving you forms to sign, letters home, kits for your kids to sell candles, wrapping paper and chocolate, but I hadn't recieved anything about candy apples.

What had happened was that the school had instituted a hot lunch program. Every other Wednesday, some of the moms would cook and serve a nutritious hot lunch. I had taken a look at the menus (I believe one Wednesday so far there was vegetable soup and a sandwich, and that day had been pasta with marinara sauce) and as Ed eats none of those things, I didn't sign him up.

Apparently he'd wanted a candy apple. The teacher said, quietly and gently, as if I didn't understand, at the next hot lunch, dessert was a cupcake. Ed indicated he wanted to be signed up. I mumbled something and left.

"But you don't eat pasta with marinara sauce." I looked both ways as I held his hand and pulled him to the car.

"I like rigatoni."

"Yes, but with butter. Did they have rigatoni with butter?"

"No. But Jayme liked it."

"Jayme eats a lot of different things. She eats tuna salad and eggs and hamburgers. You only eat three things, and candy apples are not one of them."

I tried to explain this to my husband when Ed had said he'd been deprived of a candy apple, and before I could get out three words I got read the riot act about HIS SON having to stand to the side while all the other kids got candy apples. That I should know better and if it wasn't my fault, I should call up and yell at someone.

1. I go to the school pretty much every day. I wouldn't yell, I'd have a nice chat with who I felt would be the guilty party.

2. Eddie doesn't eat apples. Eddie doesn't eat caramel (too gooey). And he certainly won't eat them together.

3. And if all he has is a cupcake on the hot lunch menu to eat, then it's not worth my $3 if the selling point is a healthy hot lunch. I send that kid to school with carrots, a juice box and half a cheese sandwich and that beats the heck out of a cupcake he'll scrape the frosting off and have it be the only thing he eats all day except for maybe some cheese crackers.

4. My husband doesn't even know what the teacher's name is. or what days he goes to school. Or a lot of things that go on in Ed's day.

Now, bad parenting,there you go. I've had my other moments, featuring:

I sent him to school without a costume on what was, apparently, Bible Character Costume Day. Flustered by this, I forgot to give him a dollar for the offering for Chapel, which was also that day. To top it all off, I got a call that he threw up at school and I had to come and get him. He napped on the couch watching Beauty and the Beast, a Disney film dubbed "too girly" for a son.

We went to the AT&T phone store and it took forever and he had a meltdown and my husband said he needed his cell for work and finally I put him in the car, doors locked, windows down. A man came in and told me that he knew it wasn't his business but if someone came by they might call the cops on me.

I brought him to his first day last year at preschool and didn't send him in with a lunch, a blanket or a pillow, because initially I had been sending him for half days and no one filled me in on what I had missed when we switched to full days.

He wanted to go on the carousel at the Long Island Game Farm when he was 2. Wouldn't go on the horses that went up and down, wouldn't go on the horses that stayed still, and there was only one seat available in the one sled on the ride and I let him sit and I found somewhere else to sit (or they wouldn't start the ride). He screamed, cried and howled. All the other moms looked at me disapprovingly (but none actually switched out so I could sit with my son or anything). So we got off and then he screamed, cried and howled because he wanted to go AGAIN. Stick a fork in me, I was done, and we left.

The Mother's Club was to be in the July 4th parade in town, the kids with decorated bikes and strollers, etc. We decorated Ed's bike and he was all psyched, but he doesn't ride very fast, wasn't paying attention to where he was going and fell over. I pulled him out so that he could watch the parade, figuring maybe it was a bit much for him but boy, did I have to hear it, I was "pushing" him, he didn't want to do it in the first place, I ruined everyone's fourth of July. He'd done the Memorial Day one, but that had a lot of stops and didn't move very quickly. Ed admitted to having a good time, but still, it wound up on the bad parent list.

I'm sure there are other examples, but maybe I've blocked them out.

I've let him stay asleep in the car in my driveway with all the doors open so that he could stay asleep and I wouldn't have to move him

As an infant, although the product says never to leave him alone, asleep on the boppy pillow, I did same. AND left him alone with the dog, another no-no.

I fed him popcorn. I de-hulled it, but supposedly you're not supposed to let the kid anywhere near corn until some age way later than I allowed. Something about food allergies.

 I nursed and yeah, had the occasional drink.

He was fussy his first trip to Florida so I let him chew on the keys to the rental car. On that same trip, they put the baby seat facing forward and he was a few months shy of one but he loved it so I left it. That and I couldn't figure out how to get it undone to reverse it.

I put him right in the seat at the grocery store and never wiped it down or had one of those cute little covers. And he's almost 5 and I STILL let him ride in the seat so that I don't have to either wait for him or chase him around.

I lie and tell him some bad boy broke the little red truck carriages and I can't take one when the truth is that they're harder to maneuver than a Winnebago and the baskets are teeny and I want to give the person who put them at my grocery store a thousand bleeding papercuts because I have to hear about them every time I go.

I have one TV in my house, one. And I want it to stay like that. I never sit down long enough to watch it. My husband and son must learn to SHARE. Before Noggin went on a 24 hour cycle, adult TV time used to start at 6 PM. Now we're not so lucky (my husband thinks we should have done something to make the channel go off at 6 and play the little goodbye song that they used to have,  but I have to keep reminding him our son is a smart little person and not the dog. He also doesn't think Ed knows the Reeses mini peanut butter cups are in the freezer drawer, but when I'm showering I hear little feet pattering over to the freezer, opening the drawer, shutting it and pattering back, and find the little candy papers around when I re-emerge, but I digress). When I was growing up, my dad came home, turned on the TV and watched what he wanted to watch and that was just it and if we didn't like it, too bad. My husband? He can't seem to just tell Ed NO, I want to watch this. I have to referee and if I don't then it sucks for me. And then I have to hear him muttering and complaining until I do. Sometimes this requires that I put Ed on the computer upstairs, or do something away from the TV because he doesn't necessarily want to watch TV quietly on the couch with his dad when CNN is on so daddy can have his happy family moment. He's 4.

Oops, sorry, that was a bad WIFE moment. heh. I'm sure I've had plenty of those, too.

How much do you hate Scarlett Johansson for nailing one of the hottest guys in Celeb-ville.

Not only is Ryan Reynolds totally F.I.T. he's also got a good heart. The Definitely Maybe (I dare you not to cry at the end) actor is running the New York City Marathon in honor of his father, who has Parkinson's disease.

Ryan says on his Huffington Post column "I've watched my father -- a strong and proud person who successfully raised 4 arguably insane children - slowly, cruelly stripped of his independence.

"Witnessing my Dad suffer over the years galvanized my need to step up. On November 2nd, I'll join thousands of other men and women to march in lockstep solidarity toward searing psychic pain and physical humiliation."

He also speaks about Michael J. Fox, saying:

"Like so many before me, I found it impossible not to be touched by his story of overwhelming strength, passion and relentless commitment to help those afflicted with this insidious disease. The man is inspiration exemplified. Plus, he was in Back To The Future."

Seriously.

Good luck Ryan!! I'm sure ScarJo will be at the finish line cheering you on.

Click here to make a donation to this very worthy cause.

After several days of soaking rain, the ground around the great tree had apparently become saturated and could no longer hold the roots.  The extra pressure of the storm winds were too much to bear and the tree came crashing down.

As I stood at the base of this tree, I stretched my arms above my head as far as I could reach.  I still lacked a few feet to reach the top of the root base that now was exposed to the world.  The mass of the old tree was much more that I had imagined.

As the tree fell, along it's 35 - 40 foot length, several smaller trees became victims.  The great weight of this once mighty tree, bent broke and completely buried the other trees that attempted to cradle its fall.  The destruction before me was massive.

The noise must have been incredible.  Snapping branches, sheering tree trunks, groaning to hold the weight of the larger tree to no avail.  When it was finished the forest swallowed up the noise and all that was left was the scene before me.

I examined the tree to gain an insight into the event of the night before and soon came across a small holly tree.  This holly tree had grown up near the base of the great gum, it's roots intertwined with those of the gum expectantly, providing some level of security as a result of the massive root structure of it's senior neighbor.  When the sweet gum fell, the holly tree was no match and was uprooted along with the larger tree.

The hapless holly tree had settled in and become comfortable along side the great tree.  At first struggling to find a footing, later securely intertwined the roots of the holly found nutrition from the falling leaves and the droppings of the birds that nested within the branches safely removed from the predators that searched the forest floor.  The holly found a sense of strength in it's solid footing and shelter from the harsher elements that occasionally disrupted the silence of the forest.

All was good with the holly, but it paid a price for it's comfort.  It's ability to grow tall and impressive was limited by the amount of nutrients it could steal away from the thirsty gum and the amount of sunlight that could reach the holly was limited by the massive branches and multitude of leaves that spread out above it.  All that considered, it was a good life and a beautiful place to be, until the night of that storm.

Like the holly, we as fathers, often seek out the safe place to be.  We become content with our jobs, our marriages, our homes, and our friends.  Life is good for us.  We accept the lot we are left with and explain away our insecurities with our tolerance of the mundane.  We accept our relationships with others and don't fully question their motives or their theology.  After all, we live in the greatest country in the world, nothing bad is going to happen here.  We weather the occasional squall and feed the occasional predator, sometimes even helping them to reach the lower branches of the tree beside us so they can reach the unsuspecting birds on whose lives we feed.  It is what it is, we say.

One day though, we are confronted by the greatest storm of our lives.  The winds whip and we bend.  Some of our leaves are stripped off, but it appears we will survive yet again, but this time something is different.  The ground around our roots is not solid.  We feel the moving of the roots of the great tree that we have come to put our faith in.  Surely the great tree is solid, after all, its roots have imbedded in soil in places we could never even consider.  But the movement becomes more frequent.  We begin to feel insecure in our own footing.  Perhaps we could hold on to the ground below our feet and the roots of the great tree would just slip over our heads leaving us securely planted, but it is not to be.  We have put our faith in the wrong thing.  We have intertwined our lives in what we thought was never changing. 

Too late we realize we are going down with the great tree.  There is nothing we can do.  We pray for solid ground but there is none.  We are helpless against the great storm.

Fathers, be mindful of where you put your faith.  We think our country, our company, our friends will always look out for us.  They will protect us.  In reality, in the end, there is only one in whom you can put your trust. 

Isaiah 47:15 tells us "And all your friends, those with whom you have done business since childhood, will slip away and disappear, unable to help"

We must put our faith in Jesus, and not in the things around us.  they will always disappoint you.  You have a family to protect, that is your calling.  Assure your feet are in solid ground and not intertwined in something that is perishable.  In the end, we will be standing when all else has fallen.

En servicio como padre

Dave

Love compelled our Creator to give His Son. Love compelled the Son to give His life.

"I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep." "The bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world." "No one takes it away from Me. On the contrary, I lay it down voluntarily." (John 10:11, 6:51, KJV; John 10:18, Amplified)

Through His death and resurrection Jesus gave us eternal life (John 10:28). However, the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:8 that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Jesus still loves. God is still love. And love is still giving.

"He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things? (Romans 8:32, Amplified)

One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is Luke 11:1-2. It reads, "And it came to pass, that as he ws praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed by thy name..."

I love Jesus' response. The Bible tells us that Jesus only said what He heard the Father say. So this response is the one He heard from heaven. God wanted to be known as and addressed as 'Father'. I don't think I'll ever get over the awe of knowing that. God the Creator of the Universe wanted to be known as Our Father.

So what does this have to do with giving? In Matthew 7 Jesus said, "...what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart" (Psalm 37:4, Amplified).

We are living in hard times. The financial world seems to be collapsing around us. Many are predicting "famine in the land" and they're scared. I'm guessing they don't know My Father, My God. He doesn't want to just supply my needs (Philippians 4:19). He wants to give me my desires.

He wants to be your Father too. He wants to take care of you and give you the desires of your heart. Delight yourself in Him.

This morning God, my Father, has been talking with me about the basis of His relationship with me - He loves me, as His child.  Everything He does originates from His motivation of love for me, His motivation of love for you.  Possibly the worst trick you could fall for, is not believing that He loves you, taking His love for granted or ignoring His love for you. 

Because of God's love for us:

• He provides what we need for each day. 
• He forgives us & enables us to forgive (the premise of any relationship that has depth)
• He directs my daily path
• He protects me

All because He loves you.  All because He loves me.  I pray that your Father's love for you would never become common, mundane or taken for granted.