National

Coming

Out Day

today!

Coming out guides from HRC

A list of Coming Out Day events (US)

The Coming Out 101

Coming Out Day on Oct 12 (UK)

I would like to hug everyone who has the strength and courage to come out, and send my love to those out there who find it too difficult. I think I'm already out, but hey.. I'll come out again. After all it is the coming out day.

Oh, and I want all of you to send a thought to the brave, brave, BRAVE ExGay survivors out there. Like Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke

Hi everyone! My name is Drik and I'm a transgendered polyamorous queer who's into kinky stuff.

Read other interesting (Swedish) blogs about LGBT, coming out, closet, USA, courage, strength

Young person tells experience of defending Cathedral from feminist horde

Buenos Aires, Oct 10, 2008 / 01:28 pm (CNA).- Pablo is one of the one hundred Argentinean young people who stood outside the Cathedral of Neuquen on August 17 to shield the church from protests by feminists who want abortion to be legalized.

Thousands of people have been moved by a video of the young people posted on CNA’s YouTube channel, which shows the ferocity of the confrontation by the feminists who were gathered for the National Encounter of Women in Neuquen.  They shouted insults and threw objects at the young people who were shielding the Cathedral.

One of the young people at the Cathedral was 21 year-old Pablo, who was interviewed by Javier Tebas of the website ReligionEnLibertad.com and revealed details about what happened that afternoon.

“Everything lasted more or less an hour and forty minutes. It was terrible. They wouldn’t go away. They screamed at us, they spat on us, they threw cans and rocks, they tore up an Argentinean flag and burned it. We were only praying one Hail Mary after another, without stopping, praying for each one of them, praying for each aborted child, praying for our Church and her pastors, and also in reparation for the blasphemies,” Pablo said.

Despite the tension, “we felt an extraordinary peace, and all of us who were there agreed [it was] a peace that cannot come from anyone else besides our Lord and God. We felt his consolation in our souls.”

Asked if they felt tempted to respond to the aggressions with violence, Pablo responded that all the young people came with the intention of “resisting to the last drop of our blood. Some guys up in front became very upset, because they insulted the Virgin Mary, calling her a lesbian. You feel like doing everything, but we know that our testimony needs to be different, and the virtue of fortitude is more perfect when we resist than when we attack.”

According to Pablo, after that experience in Neuquen, the young people were more committed to “living life as it truly is: a battle, a war.” “I think it is time to wake up, we must be aware that if we don’t do it, nobody will. Nobody will bear witness to hope if we Catholics do not do it. The world is waiting, the world expects that we go out to find it and conquer it.”

The video can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp0oMKGFTyk

If that's not a powerful wake-up call, I don't know what is.  What an excellent example Pablo and those other young people are!  I have no doubt that they would have given their lives to defend the cathedral.  Thank God they didn't have to, but they certainly accepted white martyrdom gracefully, and that in itself is a great achievement.  I can't imagine how difficult it would be to stand there peacefully amid all that hostility, but God and His grace were clearly with them.

God and His grace are with each of us, especially in difficult times.  For this reason, we must never be afraid, even in frightening and seemingly hopeless circumstances.  We may never have to face an angry mob, but it doesn't take an angry mob to make us fearful of witnessing to our faith.  I know that I often fail to serve as a witness, even in the most ordinary, harmless circumstances.  Every day provides us the opportunity to carry our crosses, and if we don't have to be humiliated and spat upon and struck, then we are more fortunate than our Lord Himself was.

"But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33b If worry is your rule, let Jesus be your ruler. Allow the "streams of living water" to douse your flames of despair. When life hands you crisis, you give it Christ. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some "pie in the sky, all my problems go bye-bye" plan. Your troubles will remain, but it is the Lord who will sustain. Sorry for sounding like Johnnie Cochran in the O.J. Simpson murder trial, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit!" Let me remind you though, as corny as it was, it worked (at least for that trial--he wasn't so lucky just a few days ago.) Likewise, Jesus works. Despite my cheesy clichés, He truly is "the way." And though He may not take you out of the fire, He will keep you from getting burned; life is not as much about the journey as it is the destination.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. Move your focus from your circumstance to your stance with Christ--He is the only true source of hope and joy.

Today is my one-year anniversary.  I have been living in Israel for one year.  It's hard to believe.  I still feel like a hermit.  I still feel green, new, clueless.  And I don't feel like I have any more courage, ingenuity, spirit, pride, or anything more than when I got here.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I've had therapy.  Lots of therapy.  And drugs.  And I've published something.  Something small, yes.  But something that has gotten amazing feedback.  And I graduated from culinary school.  So, besides the job issues that never cease, and never will cease, as making a living has to be done, anywhere in the world, something was accomplished this year.  Another certificate.  More experience.  Some emotional progress.  Yet, a great deal of treading water, treading on known, old, not-so-healthy paths.  But there is light.  There is light.  It's an interesting feeling knowing that we never really grow out of childhood.  I will always be stuck at 16.  In many ways.  We are all adolescents.  Faking it.

I thought I would have a party.  Instead I'm alone at home.  Not altogether bad.  Trying to plot the next few turns, make the next plans, straighten myself out.  Alas, major exhaustion from Yom Kippur yesterday, and continued recovery from the 2-week Irish visitation, has gotten me plonked down in front of youtube and the like, watching Star Trek Voyager.  I am thinking of going out and getting some expensive beer.  Then again, I really really need to stop spending money.  I have less in my account than I thought.  And that's not good.  But it is an important day.  Will two Belgian beers and a pint of Ben & Jerry's really set me back all that much in comparison to the enjoyment it will all bring?  Yes, it's worth it.  But in the end, it really is more of an issue of getting up and out of the chair (at least it's a chair and not a sofa or bed).  As it's Shabbat, I will have to trek 20 minutes to the local AM:PM, the only shop that's open around here.  Gotta love Israel.  It is nice, though, to have a real palpable feeling of "otherness" for the weekend.  It's much more quiet, relaxed, even though it's inconvenient not having buses or shops or stores or restaurants open locally.

The cats are back.  They were at my sister's for the duration of the Irish visit.  Not sure I'm glad, as they are a royal pain.  The company is OK some of the time.

Another year.  Appropriate it came right after Yom Kippur.  After the gates of heaven slammed shut for another year.  Another chance.  I didn't really pray.  Even though I was in synagogue a good deal yesterday.  Even though I fasted.  I am not sure I believe in prayer.  I didn't feel too spiritual.  I felt good, actually.  Felt calm.  Sleepy.  Adult.  Slightly nostalgic, but not in a negative, wish-I-were-back-there, kind of way.  I awoke on the morning of Yom Kippur having had a very goo night's sleep.  I was in Jerusalem staying with a very good friend of mine, a woman I feel more at home with than almost anyone in my family.  She had laid a matress for me on her living room floor and given me perhaps the most comfortable comforter to sleep with.  I remember waking several times during the night wondering why it wasn't yet morning and time to go to services.  And when I finally woke for the real morning, the memory of my family's last vacation to Hawaii was on my mind.  It was one of the best trips we'd ever taken.  All of us adult.  All of us more or less getting along.  We were on Kauai where my parents have a time share, a place we'd been several times before.  And the vacation was spent on calm beaches, fun small restaurants, cooking meals together in the kitchen, and playing Scrabble.  Lots of Scrabble.  And mostly me winning, as is the case in my family.  It was a good time.  And even though the fast was not easy for me this year, I took a nap after we broke the fast on my friends sofa, with that wonderful comforter, and I felt safe.  A safety I feel with very few people.  A safety I rarely if ever feel with my immediate family.  A safety I feel when I'm with people I know will take care of me and always welcome me with open arms, no questions asked, no guilt piled on, no judgment doled out.  It was only for 20 minutes or so, but I will remember it for a long time.

I am thankful to her from the core of my being for creating safe, warm, loving spaces in this often cold and confusing world. It's rare for me to feel comfortable on anyone else's sofas.  There are perhaps three I can think of.  So, thank you to the Queen with the most comfortable Jerusalem sofa and comforter.

And will there be another year?  Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  Time will tell, all too well.

But what about that last one? How, exactly, can we cultivate courage? The Cowardly Lion needed a wizard, after all...

The first step: definition. Does courage mean risking your life? There's running into a burning building to save someone else, or riding your bike down Broadway to save yourself some gas. To do either one, people would say, is brave. There are the monks in Burma risking their lives for freedom -- that's definitely brave.

We know that courage is more than a lack of aversion violence. It takes a lot of power to bash a hippopotamus from top to bottomus, but it isn't really courageous. Any idiot can lift weights, put on body armor, and swing an ax. All you need to be is desensitized.

I think courage has a lot to do with what's on the inside -- like staying calm while the markets crash. And it's interpersonal, too: telling someone that they're being harmful without letting anger overtake you -- keeping your cool when you'd normally fly into an angry, name-calling rage. Or having a difficult talk with a family member who's very sick. Or getting up in front of a classroom to teach. Striking up a conversation with that cute person on the subway. Or even just making eye contact. All of that takes at least a little bit of courage.

Courage is central to Buddhism. It takes a lot of courage to do the most basic Buddhist thing: letting go. Leaving a thought behind and staying with the breath. It's easier to stay afraid and run away with thinking than face the present moment all alone.

But where does courage come from? We know its opposite: fear, which is related to anger, whose opposite is compassion. So maybe cultivating compassion has something to do with being brave. But those other three traits Acharya Spiegel said we already had down pretty well -- gentleness, kindness, and decency -- are all based in compassion.

So what are we missing? I'm not sure at all. And, to be honest, I kind of suck at courage.

Any dharma warriors out there want to take this one on?

Blanching, the lady replies, "Excuse me, sir, what did you just say?"

"Listen you, dag-nab it, I said I want to open a trading account this instant!"

"Pardon me, sir, but we do not stand for that sort of talk in this institution!"

The stock broker leaves her desk and goes to her boss and tells him about her predicament. They both come back to her desk where the boss asks the man, "Is there a problem, sir?"

"I don't have a dang problem," the man says, "I just inherited 100 million and I want to open a so-and-so trading account with this blankety-blank brokerage!"

"I get the picture sir," the boss says, "and this wench of a broker is causing you a problem?"

From: www.onlyfunnystories.com

This time Sulio's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You don't know Bill Clinton!" but Sulio says "Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!" Sulio's boss says "No you weren't!" and Sulio says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Washington and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Sulio get's close enough to catch Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves "Sulio!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Sulio's boss is stunned-- he can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that's just two people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the whole world!" so he tells Sulio and Sulio says "OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know them!"

And Sulio's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!" and Sulio says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Sulio's boss says "No he didn't!" and Sulio says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They work their way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Sulio says "Boss, we're never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what--I'll work my way up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves. Well Sulio's boss waits and waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right there beside him is Sulio!

Shortly afterwards, Sulio's boss passes out. Sulio comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!" and when his boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened?" Sulio's boss looks at Sulio and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton...hell, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there with Sulio?' that's a little more than I can take!

From: www.onlyfunnystories.com

In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the nw Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well.

From: www.onlyfunnystories.com

First of all I want to publicly thank whoever it was responsible for putting Prop 8 on the ballot.  I don't know who or what organization did this but I do know that it took a lot of time and effort to make this happen.  It is so easy for us to sit back and watch things happen.  It is a remarkable person who puts personal interest aside to support a good cause such as this one.  I am grateful for what you did.  Thank you very much for taking a stand.

"People want you to be happy. Don't keep serving them your pain!" - Rumi

*** "I don't know that we ever 'get rid' of our woundedness. Our wounding experiences are a part of our history. We can, however, give up defining ourselves by what happened to us in the past. We can stop identifying ourselves with the pain that we have suffered. This is not a denial of what we've been through, but, rather, an awareness that the essence of who we are is far, far beyond it."

"Our woundedness is actually an opportunity for enlightenment....like samurai warriors--the ones who are profoundly committed and dedicated to evolving spiritually--because you almost can't not do that....These difficult wounds...will often serve as a catalyst for us to discover what it is that we have to offer to others."

Do not make bonds or relationships based on 'woundology'.

"For those of us who have had to endure incredible losses and sorrows, life demands an awakening of a much more profound nature than those who have not. We must find lessons and weave meaning out of the sorrows we've had to bear. For many of us have been challenged to live out circumstances in which our hearts have been splintered and broken in two. Our task is to find our way through the ruins so that we may, as the Zen saying goes, 'allow our hearts to break open.' It is here that one not only comes to love again, but actually comes to love in a way that heals the entire world.

Write a brief woundology biography...

I was sexually molested and raped at the tender age of five. But it didn't kill me. I survived. And I managed to survive, using various coping mechanisms, mostly intact. I'm a fighter. I still managed to get great grades in school, to graduate with honors from college, to get scholarships, to make great friends, to get great jobs that actually give back. Most importantly, my experience has left me with a deep, profound sense of empathy for others in pain. I am extremely good at seeing things from others' point of view. I am compassionate and kind, and extremely considerate. In many ways, this makes me stronger than those people whom the world sees as "strong." I now can use this same courage, that courage I have used to survive these thirty years, to face my demons and overcome my fears, to shed this skin of old coping mechanisms that no longer serve me, and live as I was meant to live...in joy and health.

--------------

I was/am very tense doing this exercise, my jaw clenched, feeling my shoulders and neck tensed, my whole body like a rabbit crouching low and still. I think tonight I will do some breathing exercises, like I did last night along with a bubble bath and some yoga. Yay for self-nurture! :)  Oh, and I cleaned out the pantry.

I have also started reading "The Shack" which Mom bought me, she said she and my sisters have read it and they all loved it. I'm about 3/4 through and it is one of the most moving books I have ever read, and I feel like that book also came to me at this point in my life, when I would be doing this self work. I really honestly believe "The Shack" is meant to be part of this work. And I only feel more and more like C---- is an angel to me, not in any grandiose/idolizing way, but merely as a messenger of God. God can and does use anything and anyone to work through, and I believe in this case He has certainly spoken to me through C---- and through this book.

It's weird, I still love C---- but it's not like it was at first. In the beginning I was a little obsessed, the way I usually am when I first fall in love, almost addicted. But now the infatuation stage is passing, and it feels much warmer and tender. More trusting. I don't completely trust him yet because I don't know him well enough yet... but so far I've pushed him away twice, and he hasn't left yet. I feel that we are meant at the very least to be good friends, and I thank God for sending him to me. He is a beautiful person in so many ways.

And I am really feeling like this period is some kind of transformation period. Like I'm the caterpillar in my chrysalis undergoing transformation. Not finished yet, but "baking" so to speak. I wonder what my colors will be, and how my wings will look once they're unfolded. :)

I will have to do a full post on "The Shack" when I'm done. I've actually earmarked many pages that I want to go back to. May even read it a second time, it's not that long a book.

During the hayday of the housing boom, lenders were making a fortune from fees as droves of unqualified people bought houses.  Wells Fargo sacrificed significant market share because they knew this was not a good long-term strategy.  Many investors certainly doubted that their CEO, Richard  Kovacevich, wasn't worth his $22,875,000  annual compensation.   Now, instead of their company being rescued or going bankrupt, they are about to gulp down Wachovia without any government aid.

Since the page hosting this article will change tomorrow, I have copied the author's words directly from http://online.wsj.com/public/page/letters.html.

Not Every Company Fell Prey to Short-Term Thinking

Regarding your editorial "Buffett's Financial Bet" (Oct. 4 and other recent pieces): Along with most Americans I've watched the stock market lose a staggering amount of value over the last few months. I have watched Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, Lehman Brothers, AIG, Washington Mutual and others all but disappear. In addition, I have watched many of the remaining banks, mortgage brokers, and mortgage insurance companies substantially lose all of their value.

What has stood out is not so much the loss of value, but a sense from almost everyone that this was inevitable, and that everyone and every company related to the mortgage fiasco was caught up in this mess.

The further implication seems to be that every leader made the same poor decisions, took the same risks, and rode the market up and down together.

What is encouraging throughout this bursting bubble is that leadership matters, that good decisions can be made in good times and bad, and that making good long-term decisions is rewarded, even by short-term minded Wall Street.

I am, of course, talking about Wells Fargo & Co. Look at the company and its stock. Lehman is bankrupt, Merrill Lynch had to sell itself to survive, Washington Mutual lost over 95% of its value, then crashed and burned. Wells Fargo's stock was just $1 below its all-time high as recently as mid-September. During the "good times" Wells Fargo lost market share in its mortgage business. By the way, Wells is the second-largest mortgage company in the U.S., so it is not because it was a small player in the industry that its exposure was limited. The company lost significant share and millions of dollars of profits because its management made the decision to decline bad business and say no to bad loans. Good management matters and works.

There are almost always examples of success next to failure. For decades the airline industry told us that low fares did not work. The airlines lost money and service became worse and worse. Telephone hold times for airline customer service calls extended. Then came Southwest Airlines. The airline continues to be profitable with the lowest fares, the best customer service and the shortest hold times in the industry. Every other airline executive will tell you this model is impossible. That's fine, Southwest just makes it happen. Good management and good decision-making matters.

Toyota Motor Corp. made some very difficult decisions when it launched the Toyota Prius a decade ago. This was a tough, expensive, long-term decision. Ford and GM made the opposite decision and built larger and larger vehicles. Toyota made the right long-term strategic decision. Tough decisions in the face of huge short-term profits drive sustained shareholder value.

David Leeds 
Seattle

Thanks for your observations Mr. Leeds.

Post rated C. Pentru explicaţia rating-ului, apasă AICI înainte de a citi post-ul.

It's absolutely extraordinary! You could look at him as... unusually brave.

(Băi, deşteptule, ca să prinzi ideea TREBUIE să te uiţi la filmuleţul ăsta de 2 minute amărâte, altfel, de ce mai citeşti?) Imaginile acestea mi-au rămas întipărite în minte din primul moment când le-am văzut, acum vreo 10 ani. Totuşi, până acum nu am putut înţelege pe deplin ce a făcut special necunoscutul pe care-l veţi vedea şi voi (sau de care vă veţi aminti) aici ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrQqDqOx3KY&feature=related ). Era 5 iunie, 1989.

Scurt: partidul comunist chinez a încercat să sugrume manifestaţiile democratice ale studenţilor. China, după cum ştiaţi, era şi este comunistă. Keywords pentru Google: Tiananmen Square Massacre

Momentul epic îl are ca protagonist pe un tânăr (la prima vedere, probabil student) care încearcă să ţină piept unui lung şir de tancuri. Cred că de restul vă daţi şi voi seama.

Rebelul necunoscut săvârşeşte cel mai mare şi mai emoţionant act de curaj pe care l-a văzut lumea în întreaga sa istorie. Cum a reuşit să facă asta e un mister la fel de mare. Frustrarea, tinereţea, nebunia? Nervii de oţel şi sângele rece? Ouăle tari ca piatra?

Studentul aşteaptă apopierea tancurilor fără să ştie dacă acelea sunt ultimele clipe ale vieţii lui sau nu. Şi insistă să nu treacă de el, gata să-şi dea viaţa pentru motivul său. Un exemplu extrem şi incomparabil de "totul sau nimic". Neînfricarea sa atinge sau chiar depăşeşte cele mai înalte cote ale curajului stabilite până în acel moment. E exemplul de sfidare care redefineşte eroismul şi e răsplătit cu standing ovation worldwide. Incontestabil! Unul din necunoscuţii cu faimă mondială, printre persoanele cu adevărat respectabile ale lumii.

Tânărul acesta cu o personalitate supranaturala este un model perfect de inspiraţie. Aşa cum spune şi titlul, nu a fost identificat niciodată, nemaiştiindu-se nimic despre el. Cu toate acestea, cele câteva minute din viaţa lui au avut şi încă au un efect colosal asupra omenirii.

Din păcate, cuvintele sunt prea puţine. Comentariile din clip sunt de nota 11!

Storm and Drain now has it's own facebook group. To locate us you can search either Mother Courage or Storm and Drain on facebook, or click on the following link....

http://www.new.facebook.com/group.php?gid=25612361272&ref=ts#/group.php?gid=32909881882&ref=ts

We've recently received access to video equipment and will soon be posting video's of the ongoing rehersal process, as well as interviews with cast, crew and the producers, so stay tuned for further updates........

WASHINGTON, D.C., AUG. 21, 2007 (Zenit.org).- Patience and perseverance will pay off in the battle over bioethics issues, says a U.S. bishops' aide.

In this interview with ZENIT, Richard Doerflinger speaks about this battle and how Catholics can stay informed in the midst of rapidly changing realities in the field of bioethics.

Q: With so many scientific advances, staying up to date on the battle between the culture of life and the culture of death can be difficult. What are the best resources for Catholics to stay tuned-in to the debate?

Doerflinger: Two Web sites monitoring these advances from a pro-life perspective, www.stemcellresearch.org and www.cloninginformation.org, are of enormous help in following the science and the public debate. The Pro-Life Secretariat’s page at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, www.usccb.org/prolife also has many fact sheets, letters to Congress, testimonies and articles.

These issues also receive increasing attention from good national publications such as Our Sunday Visitor, National Catholic Register, First Things, and -- for a serious, in-depth treatment of the ethical issues -- the National Catholic Bioethics Quarterly.

Q: In the United States, many pro-lifers have adopted the strategy of "chipping away" at Roe vs. Wade instead of seeking to overturn it. Is that strategy working?

Doerflinger: I would describe the strategy as chipping away at Roe vs. Wade in order to overturn it. The Supreme Court's recent decision on partial-birth abortion suggests it is effective. In the process of upholding a ban on an especially heinous late-term procedure that kills the mostly born child, the court in a new way has begun honestly confronting the brutal reality of abortion in general, its harmful effects on women, and its role in eroding the ethical integrity of medicine -- and has frankly admitted that past court decisions departed from usual standards of review and evidence to give special protection to this grisly business.

The public debate on this procedure has also led many more young people to affirm a pro-life position. But like slavery and racial segregation, abortion is a fundamental evil that will not be eliminated all at once, by a single decision or event. We need to change attitudes and perceptions as well as laws, and this will take time. Our progress may seem agonizingly slow, but this cause deserves our courage and fortitude as well as our patience.

Q: U.S. President George Bush recently released an executive order that promotes research on pluripotent stem cell lines that are not derived from human embryos. What effect will this have on the stem cell debate?

Doerflinger: The president's executive order gives a boost to some of the most creative cutting-edge research being done today, such as new findings on ways to "reprogram" adult cells to have the versatility of embryonic stem cells. He is also calling the bluff of scientists who insist that "pluripotent" stem cells have the greatest medical promise, by saying in effect: Fine, then let's obtain that kind of cell without violating moral norms as well. 

Other important developments include the enactment in 2005 of a federal law establishing a nationwide public bank for cord blood stem cells, and the recent introduction in Congress of a "Patients First Act" to advance adult and cord blood stem cell avenues that have begun to show clinical promise in early trials. Each of these initiatives takes away another specious argument for claiming that we must destroy human life to have medical progress.

Q: How can we get the battle for life away from semantics, so that people come to see life issues as less about ideology and more about science?

Doerflinger: First, people need to understand that not everything said by a scientist is necessarily "science." Some scientists today are acting more like lobbyists or public relations directors, or even outright frauds like Dr. Hwang of South Korea.

A glance at any good embryology textbook will tell you that the life of a human individual begins with that first one-celled embryo -- so when a scientist intones gravely that we have no idea when human life begins, get ready for a fantasy ride. And when a scientist launches into wild and often self-serving claims about the "promise" and "miracle" of embryonic stem cells, far too few non-scientists have the courage simply to ask: "And what's your evidence for that?" 

The actual evidence for future "miracle cures" from destroying embryos is very slim indeed. It is the scientific method that is showing us more promising and more immediate clinical benefits from adult and cord blood stem cells that pose no moral problem.

Q: What do Catholics in the United States need to be a better force for the defense of life? Are they educated in life issues?

Doerflinger: It is difficult to keep educated when new challenges keep emerging so quickly. But I think that most churchgoing Catholics have the right instincts and the right values when it comes to revering human life -- and thankfully, this is often most clear in our younger generation. 

We need to inform and develop these attitudes with a better understanding of the Church's teaching as well as of the scientific and medical realities, if we are to be effective advocates for life. 

Through articles, newsletters, homily suggestions, educational resources, and especially the Respect Life Program that comes to parishes each year on the first Sunday in October, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is working to assist that process.

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The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

From: www.onlyfunnystories.com

(Believe it or not, I picked up these concepts form an Amway audio tape years ago. The speaker was a survivor of several gunshot wounds from a house break-in that left him a paraplegic. It was a powerful and motivational speech. I got nowhere in Amway but its great wisdom for life nonetheless.)

--Harold Whitman

The surgery didn't start on time, so we spent several hours at the hospital just waiting around, and trying to help Tristan stay occupied. We read Spiderman comics, a library book, and walked around the hospital a bit. I think the hardest part of waiting, for Tristan was not being able to eat. I was much more pacified than i expected to be. I've had a lot more control over my anxiety lately in general.

As it got closer to time for the surgery to start Tristan was getting more tense. Luckily they got him his "silly juice" pretty quickly, and i read to him from the library book(Polar Bears Past Bedtime) until he was pretty dopey. He kept his pouch of stones with him until it was time to head to the OR. Tristan's dad showed up while he was doped up, and hung out with him until the surgery started. It was the first time he's seen his dad in almost three years. I think he felt a bit better that his dad came. Me, i was still calm as could be. We gave hugs and they took him back, he got a little teary, but was still really brave.

It was hard to wait, during the procedure. It always is. I caught up with Jason (Tristan's dad) and his sister to pass the time. Eventually the surgeon called us to the conference room. My mom got really nervous waiting for the surgeon to come. Her energy started to make me uppety, but it was a new moon that day, and i knew everything would be fine. The surgeon told us the procedure had gone well and they had closed with Steri Strip bandages instead of stitches to help avoid scaring. Tristan was in Recovery for a while, and it was even harder to wait at that point. I didn't want him to wake up without me there, as anaesthesia can make people really sick and emotional when they come to. I was afraid he'd be in pain, disoriented, and scared. The rest of Jason's family showed up while we were waiting. That was really awkward. His mom ( who i never got along with), his step dad and step brother (who i've never met), and his other sister and her boyfriend all sat there making small talk with us.

When they finally told me i could head back into the post op room i was really relieved. Tristan was still sleeping for a while. He had red marks on his face from having his eyes taped shut during he procedure, and a huge, thick dressing on his neck. When he came to he was calm, and still brave. He wanted water because his mouth and throat were dry and sore. He told me about everything he remembered and knew immediately upon waking where he was and that his surgery was over.

When we got up to his room Jason's family visited for a few minutes and then left. A little while after that Seth and my mom went home too. Tristan slept pretty much all night after they had given him some Lortab. He got up once during the night to pee and vomited. I headed to the cafeteria around midnight and got some food. I hadn't eaten all day either. I didn't get much sleep with the nurses coming in every hour to check his vitals. I unpacked some stuff and set out our stones on the table around 4am.

In the morning the doctor saw us early, took the dressing off Tristan's neck, and said we could go home as soon as Tristan could hold down food. So the battle began. He threw up three more times before 3pm. I was kicking myself in the ass for not bringing some Ginger with us.  The nurse on the day shift was an idiot and i wanted to kill her. I had to tell her not to give him anymore Lortab on an empty stomach, and she kept trying to tell me he needed to be able to hold down water and jello before he could have real food. What he needed was real food. Anyone who hasn't eaten in over 24 hours is going to be nauseous. I asked about anti nausea meds, but no, the doctor hadn't ordered any. I asked her if it was possible the antibiotics he was on for his heart could be making him nauseous, but for some reason she had ever heard of antibiotics making people sick before. I swear i wanted to slap her. I finally got her to change his dietary restrictions so we could order him real food. By the time my mom got there with the other boys i was losing it and started crying uncontrollably. I really wanted to go home, and i knew Tristan was fine. He ate some mashed potatoes and mac n cheese and miraculously didn't throw up.

We packed up our stuff and went home, i was exhausted, my parents visited, i had a couple beers, Tristan took some Motrin and slept on the couch, he didn't throw up again, and was back to his normal self the next day.

I need to write more to catch up to present day, but i'm exhausted just from reliving the surgery day to write about it. So it'll have to wait. Pictures of Tristan in the hospital can be viewed on my Flickr account. There is a link in the column on the left of this page.

I'm talking about the "new" people in my life who I've only known for a year or so... The "new" people who challenge me with some of my "old" baggage (whether they realize what they're doing or not --- and I suspect not)... I feel what you're trying to do.  I feel it deep within my soul.  I can sense the same feelings that used to crush me YEARS ago when the same tactics were used to somehow "control" me and make me behave in the way that someone else wanted me to --- in order to give me a little affection or a little love, when they knew that's what I craved so badly.  It used to work on me so well, back then.  Today, I'm different and I don't feel the same things... I only tend now to roll my eyes and call anyone else an "idiot" for even trying those tactics on me after all of these years. 

So you won't "budge" until I do?  K... Here's a newsflash for you.  I already "budged" when I let you in.  I won't go all the way like I used to in the hopes that "maybe if I just be the bigger person, they'll come around and start to act human again."  Nah... It's not there in my heart to do anymore.  Sorry... Ain't gonna happen HERE.

I'll give you love and I'll give it unconditionally ---- with the exception that the one condition I won't give to anyone anymore is losing myself in order to gain your acceptance or your affection.  I am who I am.  And I am not ashamed anymore of who I've become.  If you want to be in MY circle, then you need to come around to MY way of thinking and try to fit in with ME.  If I have to fit in with you, then "Pffffth!"  Thanks, but I'll pass.

[I guess I'm really just talking outloud....and thinking to myself about how I recognize similar situations that have affected me profoundly when it comes to having people close to me treat me as if I AM close to them...as long as I conform to whoever it is that they want me to be... Well, I won't cater to anyone ever again.  No matter what the price.  If the price is your friendship, then it wasn't really a friendship at all...So no biggie.  Get it?

I'm here to love you, if you want.  But I will not bow down to you or even "make the first move" in order to "be the bigger person" just to watch you add me to your "top friends" list, get you to be my  friend, or whatever else you had in mind.  Been there, done that.  Not interested in the least in doing that again --- for anyone.

I think there was an Elton John song that said it very well.... Let me see....What was that song?  What were the lyrics?  Thinking...... Can't think of it right now... Poop.  Perhaps I'll think of it later.

Meantime, I'm afraid that if you want to be in MY top friends again, you've got to put YOUR money where YOUR mouth is.  I won't let you down or make you feel stupid about making the first move --- it's simply not in my heart to do so.  But by the same token, I'm strong enough to know when someone is lying "in wait" for me to "give in" and do the right thing "for you".  And I won't be that someone for you or anyone else, ever again.

My message to the people who miss being in my life, yet ARE being stubborn instead of open to the possibility of working things out is this:  Want me back in your life?  Then YOU make the move, and YOU take the chance.  I'm too old to care that much to put myself out there on that limb anymore.  I'm afraid it'll take someone with guts and courage to win my heart nowadays.  If I'm not worth it to you, then you certainly aren't worth it to me... Simple as that.

The correspondent, Mr. Musiri Mani, pulled his chair away from the table before sitting, since his huge paunch needed more space. He took the newspaper clippings that the principal handed over to him. The two clippings were announcements made by a couple of schools.

The first one was by Mangal Matriculation School. There was a photograph of a girl and one of a boy. 'School Toppers' said the caption.

Musiri Mani looked at the other cutting. He seemed to like this one better. This was from Pickwick School. The caption said: "Pickwick Higher Secondary School congratulates Ms. S. Anamika, first in the District in S.S.L.C." There were five photographs - one of the correspondent, one of the principal, one of the local M.L.A., one of the councilor of that ward, and last, in a corner, a tiny photograph of Anamika.

Mr. Mani gazed at the clipping for a long time. He imagined his own beaming face staring back at him from the newspaper.

"Why can't we have an advertisement in the papers, too?" he asked Mrs. Nanjundan.

"No one has come first in the district or state from our school" she explained.

"Let me see some other advertisements like this" said the correspondent.

The principal pressed a bell, and a horse-faced office assistant came in with an enquiring look.

'Aswathy, bring some more newspapers" said Mrs. Nanjundan. Aswathy stalked away with long strides worthy of a race horse.

She came back after while carrying several pages from newspapers. Mr. Mani glanced through them. M.C.P. Boys School, Sonagiri Secondary School, Sandalwood Secondary School, Theevana Matriculation School, Eaton School - they had all put in advertisements in the papers. Some school boasted state firsts, some others district firsts, some just had school toppers.

Mr. Mani gazed at these advertisements with envy. "I think we should put in an advertisement too" he said.

"But we will have nothing to say in it, Sir" the principal said.

'Well, we could have the pictures of the first and second rank holders in the school' said Mr. Mani.

"We will have to mention the marks they have scored, and then we will be laughed at."

"The less said about our school the better' said Miss. Aswathy.

"When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it" the correspondent snapped. Miss. Aswathy tilted her nose high up in the air, and trotted off to the next room.

"Call for a meeting of the school managing committee" said Mr. Mani to the Principal. Then he pushed his chair back, rose and waddled away, giving a good imitation of a duck moving in a hurry.

The next day the managing committee met in the Principal's office. The meeting opened with a prayer song, sung completely out of tune by a couple of teachers. It took a couple of minutes for the committee to recover from this musical onslaught.

The principal rose and welcomed the gathering. Then she went on: "We are meeting today to discuss the advertisements that have been released by various schools in the papers. Our revered correspondent is very keen on having a few advertisements for our school too."

At this point, the correspondent gestured to the principal to sit down, and then he stood up to speak. "Dear Friends," he said. "We have been putting in a lot of effort in running this school, and we deserve some recognition..."

"I thought we already had government recognition' said Mrs. Ganapthy, a member who had just then come in.

"I don't mean government recognition. I mean recognition by the public. For which we have to advertise."

"It pays to advertise" said Mr. Alok Kumar, a businessman.

"I thought we had to pay to advertise' said Mrs. Hamasathvani, a retired collage professor.

"Yes, yes, we pay first and then reap the benefits" said the correspondent rather irritably. "I want you to help in writing out an advertisement which will claim that out school is different from all other schools; that it is unique.

The principal said: "If we could form a sub-committee, we could entrust them with the writing of the ad."

Three members were selected for the sub-committee. "If you will write out the advertisement, Miss. Aswathy will have it typed in no time" said the principal.

Tea was served while the sub-committee members scratched their heads, bit their lips and gnawed at their pens. Finally they succeeded in writing an advertisement that was approved by the managing committee. Miss. Aswathy came in briskly and took the matter to be typed.

"It will be nice to have our correspondent's photo in the advertisement" said the principal with a smile that showed all her teeth and gums.

Mr. Musiri Mani blushed and blustered: "No, no. Not necessary at all. I mean no... not..."

"We can have the principal's photo, too" said Mr. Alok Kumar smoothly.

"Well, well... in that... that... case..." Mr. Mani stuttered.

"How about the photos of the managing committee members?" asked Mrs. Ganapthi.

"You can have your photographs framed and kept in the office" said the principal. And that was that.

A few days later a quarter page advertisement appeared a couple of papers.

"The Little Learners School" said the advertisement between the smiling photographs of Mr. Musiri Mani and Mrs. Nerunji Nanjundan. "A unique Distinction". It went on in very large types. "The only school to have had 100% failures for three years in succession."

All the words were printed in very bold types except the word 'failures', which was in such tiny print that one needed magnifying glasses to see it. The advertisement ended with the boast "No other school can match this record."

A hat trick, no doubt, and a unique distinction indeed!

By: Ajit Hari Sahu, for www.whereincity.com