Every morning I approach the news papers with the fear of getting de-sensitized. Today for instance, The Times of India, Ahmedabad Edition carried news about an act of unnatural proportions – Man having sex with a calf! The matter was brought in to light due to the animal protection activists you may read the entire article at (http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Daily/skins/TOI/navigator.asp?Daily=TOIA&login=default&AW=12206834079060 )

Thank God, there are at least some people in the society (People for Animal) who think that there is something called as evil / wrong and the matter was brought to light. A voiceless animal found some one who could fight for its cause; unfortunately our big mouthed society has none!  

Moreover, it is shocking to see how Times has written the news, with the reference of union health minister Ramadoss’ efforts to remove the section 377 relating to unnatural sexual intercourse. Simply put the law reads as under : 

Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature, with any man, woman or animal shall be punishable with imprisonment for life or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years and shall also be liable to fine.

Now if you read this law without any prejudice, it is plain and clear, that to live in a society we must define the lines. We must define what is wrong and what is right. No matter even if the majority of the society accepts the wrong as right, it does not deter or change what is right. If there exists anything called RIGHT.

I am infact suffering and am unable to remove from my mind, the agony and pain that gripped my mind just a few days back when a report about a six month old girl appeared in the same newspaper. Left with a torn vagina and bleeding anus, the six month old innocent baby, was picked from her mother’s side, while asleep…!! Can you picture that !! Do the howls and tear filled screams wake us up?!!

Children are the future of our society, what we do to them, decides the future and the longetivity of our society. It’s painful and pathetic to know, what unbridled thoughts and desires in humans can lead people into? With the constant bombardment of media with sexually explicit material, lower moral convictions, pluralistic worldview and the popular culture which promotes “it is all about me”, it doesn’t take a lot of pains & brains to understand the surge in the unnatural drives among people in a society.

When you begin to take fences off, you will ultimately be left with the walls of your house to take the brunt of the attacks; and attacks will surely come to finally crumble the house, the pleasure of which you had in mind and for which you ultimately took the fences off.

I know most of us have been imprinted & impressed by the image and majesty of the Prince of Gays, the poster boy for Times of India. With Times’ level & taste for photography, it would have been really amateurish, if they had put up the prince in the act itself – Lest some people would have an understanding of what the term “unnatural” and “disgustful” means.  So much coverage, so much of support & glitter added to an equally contemptible act to make it look like normal and desirable.

To justify evil deeds and desires people in the society have borrowed the word “freedom”, which appeals to all and is likened by all. Look around and you will be stunned to see, what all is traded in disguise of freedom and with its tag attached. Accepting a moral absolute demands that we live our life in conformance to the standards required by the moral absolute, which in fact the pluralistic society finds hard to live by and hence to support its baser instincts it ends up and sometimes is coerced in to supporting the denial of absolutes and thereby propagates evil.

In the name of freedom, people in the society propagate and are promoting others to pull walls and fences down, which have been holding the society all these years. The term Gay was not well known in our society and culture, although I agree that it was all hidden under the covers. However that should not be made the reason for baser instincts to be promoted and propagated ! People say lets talk about it in the open, lets discuss it, lets bring it out and be honest about it, but it doesn’t mean that accepting that there is this evil in the society equals standing with it, promoting it or propagating it or infact putting it up as if its right or a matter of choice of ones freedom.

Evil is evil and we must all stand up and raise our voices. You would hear a whole lot of people trying to blame it all on the genes and would try to give you explanations on how some people are born with that bent. But does it mean that we should freely allow this in our society. Does it mean people in the psychiatric wards be let loose to do what ever they want to? Don’t we try to discipline them? Don’t we try to train and teach them to get them back in to the society? Does that mean that we stop telling them when they commit wrong or put up barrier to ensure corrective behavior?  Does it mean we justify everything that they do? I am sure it is just a matter of some time, people will fly in a professor from any corner of the world to justify their deeds and to blame it all on the genes, be it murder, rape, sodomy or any kind of evil. Will that mean our laws will all have to be changed to continue to accommodate all the research? Will that mean as our society grows with knowledge on issues it will slowly accept evil and reject truth? The prisons will soon be empty, there will be no right or wrong and each one will do what they like and be free ….What lies ahead is literally fearful!

By embracing pluralism we have started redefining terms, our children are being taught and educated as moral zombies, who have no clear understanding about truth, right and good or even if such things exist, leave alone on how to make decisions. Televisions are full of soaps where relationships are entangled, media is portraying the wrongs of crooked minded people as fashion and high flying societies desirable lifestyles, Spiritualism and religion is godless and is all centered about the individuals happiness, fitness and joy. We surely are not laying a good foundation by treating wrongs and evils as accepted and normal for the coming generation and are offering them a tremendously morally decaying, foundationless environment, and we shouldn’t expect miracles to happen.

Its heart rendering to see the moral, spiritual and cultural situation of our society which is very quickly gaining grounds and popularity, where morality is completely jettisoned and freedom has taken complete priority over right and wrong. In fact it seems today that the only moral right that is left or which exists is the moral right of freedom. However society forgets that this is a mere illusion, as there doesn’t exist a thing called absolute freedom, it’s a contradiction in terms like the term free love – as it’s the nature of love to bind itself.

Insanity is the ultimate form of absolute freedom and by rejecting truth and accepting a pluralistic worldview, the road that’s taken up by the society has started showing us glimpses of where we are heading.

 Ps: This is not a hate mail against Gays; I believe like every human, they have the right to live. But there needs to be a clear distinction between society's help, approval, support and acceptance and what it applauds or celebrates.

*...But as I am writing it now, I've modified it significantly so as to blend better with current thought, and also to incorporate recent concepts when relevant...*

As I explained in Playing the Victim, one of my co-workers was suffering from acute depression, and asked for advice. The solution I gave her was *obviously* to stop "playing the victim", and accept responsibility for her life - thus empowering herself and providing the psychological leverage needed to deal with the other issues, and begin progressing with life again. Although this solution is logically valid, I've become to realize more and more how much truth cannot be logically justified -so, for lack of better feelings, I should  "be more considerate of her feelings"- for lack of better phrasing - So this depression needs to be handled more gradually, using "gentler" methods :P

Due to the ever-constant chaos already eminent in her life, dealing with it logically would be impossible, because logic has already become irrelevant. I assured her that I would see what I could do in finding a [irony alert!] more *reasonable* solution, and fortunately, I think I've found one. Well, from the looks of things the *best* solution is a work-in-progress, but at the very least it's something to work off of. Of course the solution has nothing to do with drugs. I was medicated for several years in the past, and although I definitely had, and *have* the illnesses I was diagnosed with, I found I did far better without them. Come to think of it, the several different medications I was given did little more than sedate me. As far as I can tell, that was about it. Don't ask why, I have know clue :P

As I mentioned in that same post ("Playing the Victim") I was able to deal with my psychological issues best (by an overwhelming margin) without medication; if anything the medication just made things worse. So although I cannot speak for anyone else, From my person experiences I would definitely recommend against the ingestion of psychological drugs of any kind. Treatment is frequently contrasted with "Cure", being only a temporary/partial solution (i.e. to minimize symptoms)- Cures are permanent.

I think the fact that medication only minimizes symptoms is particularly interesting- after all, "Symptoms" are the proof that the body/mind/etc. is fighting against the disease/etc. If the symptoms disappear, that doesn't mean the person is better. In fact, if the disease/etc. still exist despite symptoms, that should be considered a bad thing, since the immune system is essentially being suppressed, allowing the disease freely roam, resulting in far worse [in this case] mental health. Well, that's just speculation on my part, but such an opinion is also implied in "I Never Promised you Roses". In the cases of depression, the "cure" might well be to deal with the problem as described in "Playing the Victim"- however, for now, a temporary solution [*treatment*] should suffice.

Among many-- more minor illnesses, I have Bipolar- previously known as "manic-depressive" disorder. The previous name is much more descriptive, but I guess they're trying to be more politically correct :P I regularly go through cycles- between depressive and more manic states; I maintain a more "normal" demeanor in-between. The upside and downside of Bipolar is the same: the cycles are predictable. That is- I only get depressed or manic "when I'm supposed to"- this makes cycles very predictable, and I can schedule accordingly, since it works like clockwork. But of course, no one likes getting depressed-- well, I'm sure plenty of people like getting manic though :P Then again, I don't ever get anxious (for certain reasons that I'll cover in later posts) so I don't have to deal with that part of the manic cycle...but for whatever its worth, that's the downside.

A while ago I realized that I could completely thwart the depression cycles (although the manic isn't so bad) by making a habit of automatically rejecting the logical validity of all negative thoughts. Although I did not realize it then, I had already been doing such a thing for a few years now. But I have also realized that, in accordance with balance, to disregard any emotion logically, I had to lose my emotions; this is because to logically get rid of emotions, one must believe any previous emotions to never have existed- this is necessary because emotions are the backbone of passion and desire- no decision can follow through without one's emotions backing it.

Getting back to habits though, as I detailed in [insert post], it's possible to force oneself to change the perception of anything you want, even if it is the exact opposite of the original and natural perception. In that experiment, as I was walking in the freezing cold (of last winter, to be exact) I decided to imagine the pain as being pleasure, and concentrated on the cold being a good thing, setting aside all "common sense" in favor of this perception. The result was a bit surprising- by concentrating the pain completely went away- it was very exciting seeing how perceptions can be manipulated this way.

The only thing lacking with this is that one must concentrate to experience the conversion. That's where habits come in. The purpose of habits is to keep of memory of thing that are done often, and usually require a degree of concentration. It is an adaptation that allows us to perform tasks better the more that we do it, because those things we've already concentrated on a lot are stored in our "cache", which frees up our "memory" to focus on the finer details, or other tasks. Although perhaps I'm a bit partial due to my hobbies, I think that the human brain is strikingly similar to the computer- or, even more likely, the other way around.

As a result of these habits, I have not felt depressed for a few years now.

*Note "felt"- "depression can mean more than one thing; "felt" meaning that I have not had any sad or depressing thoughts for a while. In retrospect BTW this is not a good thing- to accomplish this required "unbreacheable" psychological walls to be put up, resulting in an almost completely nonchalant perspective towards everything; the root meaning of depression ("to slow down"/ "fall" / "be undone" /etc) is still true even now- the depression just does not include the emotional components (i.e. sadness/melancholy/etc.)*

There was one brief period a while back (see Self-Awareness post ) but that only last half an hour. I was thrust into a terrible depression, due to not being able to prepare a decent resume (I had no work experience at the time). But, seeing that I needed it to get done, I forcibly moved myself forward, and was able to pull off what had appeared to be impossible, thus effectively ending that "episode". Recalling this incident has also played a key role in determining another, more "reasonable" solution to my coworker's problem.

All of "today" (*see top*), as expected, I experienced the usual wave of depression. Well, I say depressed, but (as explained above) the only symptom I still experience is a complete lack of motivation to do anything productive. On these days I might normally do nothing but watch anime- and in WCS even lack the motivation to play games. But even when I have such days, going to work is not a problem. Actually, on these days going to work is actually more of a vacation, anyway. Much of the reason for this is explained in Opportunity- that is, working each day with the awareness that half my pay is not in the salary, but in the opportunity to work. As I've discovered over time, the reason why working can be so fulfilling- is because of expectations- knowing that our coworkers and supervisors expect us to do the job well, and fullfilling those expectations, fills us with a wonderful sense of pride. The way I see it, this is "running away from ourselves"- here's why:

Who we are- that which we perceive ourselves to be, and also who and that which we perceive others to be, is dependent on memory, which also means that we can only see ourselves and other people as we were in the past. That is because we are contantly changing and growing, clarifying and building upon who we are every second, although the changes may not be noticed for years. Because of that, the person we perceive ourselves to be, is actually the past, and is not entirely accurate. The irony (and amusement) of this, is that we are able to change in the first place for this same reason. See, to move forward and grow, we must leave our past behind us, which I believe is a necessity due to balance. Interestingly enough, it is also a central theme for reincarnation. So "running away" from ourself in essence means "leaving behind the past" to move towards a better future. So perhaps a more optimistic phrasing would be "running to" (although that would totally kill the visual)

Since I am a restless individual, lacking in patience (although I have aquired a significant patience these past few months, in recognition of the need) I first dealt with my lack of motivation by being confrontational (i.e. a complete ass) with my roommates. Thinking about it now, that initial approach is strikingly similar to Linkin Park's song "Breaking the Habit". From what I can tell, this journey I'm going through has an extremely close likeness that the journey that Linkin Park depicts in their music, so I often listen to the words of their songs for guidance. As the contributers (of that song) in Linkin Park did though, I realized that there were better ways of dealing with it, that I needed to 'break the habit'.

So I started settling down, and played games with them instead. Here I realized another way of self-treating depression. Summing it all up, a person's psychological health is primarily dependent on one factor- pride. This is why it's important to not play the victim- depression is caused by insecurity. The opposite of insecurity is self-control. Taking control of a situation is an active way of alleviating insecurity (and thus depression), but it's likely that in most cases of depression, the person's state-of-mind renders them incapable of taking the initiative- thus a passive response is necessary. By playing games with my roommates that I knew I would win, and by following through with that expectation, I am able to alleviate my insecurity in a passive manner. That is, it required no initiative, because they already wanted to play- I only had to say "yes". Thus, one of the best ways to alleviate depression passively, without initiative, is to put oneself in an environment where we will succeed, and have the expectations of others to drive and support that success.

With both the resume incident and the days that I played games to relieve depression, the key factor is power. In one way or another, empowering oneself plays a vital role in allowing us to move on. To put in another way, the most efficient way to get over depression is to "pet your ego" by showing off your strengths to others. Pride is, after all, one of our greatest needs as humans, making this a reliable "quick fix" for depression

If you are black or lower middle class or lower, shoot or both, what do you want from these officials? What do they have to do to earn your vote (because the reality is that they should be earning your vote by trying to help people, that is their damn jobs) If you are black, what issues that are prevalent in the black community would you like to see addressed.

Please if you read this please forward it.  It doesn't matter if you are Republican, Independent, Democrat, or freaking belong to the party of oreo eaters, I want your opinion. Forward it to your friends, family etc because I want an unbiased view.

To an extent I agree.  We shouldn't whine about how our society's going downhill without pausing to consider the fact that every generation has thought that about it's younger generations, probably since the beginning of civilization.  I discuss this issue in another post, Writing Skills of Little Ones.  But:

• Technology has allowed for more vanity and self-centeredness (paradoxically, as it's supposed to connect us more with the outside world), which serves as a perfect stepping stone for superficiality and disconnectedness.  For example, instead of just imagining how we'll look in our outfit at the bar or at that party, we also imagine how we'll look in the pictures taken of us in that outfit, and immediately imagine what sort of poses might be best for a facebook or myspace profile picture, and what those pictures will convey about us to those who see it.  We've been given an additional, immeasurable medium to misrepresent ourselves, and the more prevalent and primary the internet becomes as our means of communication, the more opportunity we have to continue judging ourselves and others by profile pictures and meticulously selected lists of interests and activities, and the more accustomed we get to not having authentic contact with others and boiling ourselves down to lists of things that other people said and trying to come up with the perfect list of favorite movies so as best to display the various parts of our personalities.
• As I've said in several earlier posts, our media, our politics, and our popular culture are getting out of control, but it's our fault.  Every generation and culture has its shallow indulgences, but we can't let ourselves be so arrogant that we assume it will never be too much.  We don't parade through the streets to gleefully watch a criminal get hanged, but we happily watch while morons go on television with a lie detector and willingly ruin their marriage for money (on the other hand, good riddance, because if you're that stupid then your marriage was going to end anyway, so go ahead and get some money for it).  We have trivia shows making light of how dumb so many American adults are.  Every channel has their offer for regular people like us to strike it big by auditioning for one of their reality shows.  We eat it up, and media see it.  They don't, unfortunately, pass up an opportunity to whore for our attention, and we validate their every move by drooling in front of the television or computer screen.  And while even I complain about dishonest politicians, we're the ones who keep electing them, we're the ones who let them get away with it, and we're the ones who complain when they are honest ("Bittergate", for example).  Whatever the problems with our economy, our education system, many of our problems are ones for which we should take responsibility.  But if a politician, or a journalist or media commentator, says as much, he or she is accused of hating America, hating the American people, not having faith in the American people, and all together deemed a sort of elitist enemy that doesn't understand the real woes of American society.  Until we can admit to ourselves that we, the regular people, are to blame for a lot of our problems, be they national or within our smaller communities, nothing will improve.  There is a limit.  No civilization or society lasts forever.  There's always a turning point.  I don't believe that point is tomorrow, but it's foolish to think we will forever be immune to the damage of societal ills and dysfunction.

Oh Mighty King,

is to see the one

who loved me so.

To see His face

as He wept for me,

that I might

His mercy know.

Let me walk

there, beside Him,

the Gentle shephard

on streets of gold.

I'll hear His voice

full of compassion and love,

I will marvel in awe

at His tales of old.

Let me see Jesus

Oh Mighty King,

the one who bled, died, saved me,

and set my heart on fire.

This is my heart's desire.

This summer was the second year of the sold-out Aspen Ideas Festival .

The Aspen Institute was founded in 1950 as an international not-for-profit network; the organisation facilitates intellectual programs and commentary on a wide range of contemporary social issues for example Global Interdependence, current conflicts, and Energy & the Environment.

CEO President Walter Isaacson, former editor of TIME magazine says of the organisation:

Our core mission is to foster enlightened leadership and open-minded dialogue. Through seminars, policy programs, conferences and leadership development initiatives, the Institute and its international partners seek to promote nonpartisan inquiry and an appreciation for timeless values.

We help people become more enlightened in their work and enriched in their lives. Together we can learn one of the keys to being successful in business, leadership and life: balancing conflicting values in order to find common ground with our fellow citizens while remaining true to basic ideals.

What is the evidence to suggest this? For one, if Republicans believe that, to stimulate large companies from Washington will "trickle down" to the masses--can it not be obvious that they truly believe in the goodness of humanity to a naive degree?  To think that out of "one" (government) will come prosperity for all, starting from the top down, will really occur in our selfish society is saddening.  We have seen this not to be true for so long.  It is a noble principle, but can this theory ever work in practice?

Democrats, maybe the more jaded of the two (made up of minorities, women, and others who have been denied the American Dream at some point), seek to create change by focusing on the masses.  The newest thinkers in the party have possibly gone too far in trying to please all in the broad spectrum of American viewpoints.  But essentially, the Democratic principle believes that for everyone to benefit, you have to improve life at the bottom of the barrel.  People have called the health plans of the Clinton administration and the current plan of Obama "socialist" in nature, but what is so terrible about making sure that all Americans would be able to live their lives without drowning in medical debt?  For example, even the average, middle-class family knows a possibility exists that one illness could jeopardize their children's college fund.

If you pay attention to such statistical tools as the Bell Curve, you might notice that most of us will fall in the middle--with the least fortunate at the bottom end.  Where would you rather most political energy to be focused?  At the top, with the wealthiest few, or with the least of us?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_convention_rdp

incercati sa faceti un exercitiu de imaginatie la numirea unui prim ministru, oricare ar fi partidul din Romania. si chiar Europa.

rspkt Obama! rspkt Biden!

Interesant este cum prin aceasta miscare Republicanii "contraacata" culoare obrajilor lui Obama (ok, daca voi aveti un negru, noi avem o femeie) si incearca sa confirme visul american (motiv explicit in campania democratilor). la modul ca daca Obama a plecat de jos, uite una care a plecat si mai de jos... expertii zic ca prin aceasta miscare Republicanii cauta sa ii ia voturile feminine lui Obama. Eu, de aici, din sectorul 5, mizez pe argumentele de mai sus.

ati putea spune: da' ce te doare pe tine cine e si ce face madam Palin? well, de la filmul Babel incoace, "ciorba" asta globalizata imi da fiori. daca america va fi condusa de un militar de cariera si o doamna care iubeste armele de foc, noi cu cine votam (facem abstractie de Tiraspol si Insula Serpilor)?

rspkt!

As I read my own thoughts on the subject came burbling up, and I wrote furiously. I finally managed to get it all together to post here.

The book was written in 1998 and I just discovered there's an English translation (2003), wth the improbable title of In the Name of Identity: Violence and the Need to Belong. I couldn't help wondering why they didn't keep the original, or at least some closer to it. Did the publishers think Anglo-Saxon world might be put off by the suggestion of death? Perchance?

And why the reference to violence in the title? Maalouf actually doesn't say all that much about it. Sounds to me like a bit of marketing hype.

I'll say it again...I'm a GREAT mom, and it's no accident.

Not to brag, but you will not find two more respectful, caring, kind-hearted girls.  Now, I'm not trying to paint a picture that they never make mistakes, or get on my nerves.  But let me say for sure....they are keepers.  I firmly believe its because I have always known that I could not only parent, but parent well.

Now, let me look at the other side of the coin.  I also believe that I'm horrible with numbers.  I'm not sure where this belief came from.  I think way back in grade school I preferred to read thus you can't enjoy reading and math...ridiculous I know.  But I certainly believed it, and still did...until recently.

You see, I'm a business owner that had a dirty little secret.  My books were a mess.  I hated tax time, and would cringe if I had to share any "numbers" information regarding the business with my husband.  Why because I believed I was horrible with numbers.  Guess what, I became horrible with numbers.  This year, I decided to change my belief, and I am now proud of how my books look.  

But there are other things that I believe of myself that are not so on the surface like motherhood or math.  Things that stop me from being all that I can be.  Perhaps a certain belief about my appearance, or a certain belief about my worth.

Hmmm...I'm going to change my beliefs.  If I can manage my business books and be "good" at math, certainly I can manage the beliefs that thus far have held me back from my destiny.

What about you?  What do you believe about yourself?

Well, I don't know anyone from the first batch, but most descriptions I hear are centered around "not as grade conscious", "truly different" and "care to have fun". In contrast to the pioneer batch, the newly joined students care more about grades than learning, muggerish bookworms chasing paper achievements.

Sure, I won't like seeing dorky, tunnel-vision nerds clog up the library on week 3, but I also won't like seeing SMU graduates who can talk big and look professional yet can't go beyond impressing people with boombastic ideas of no practical impact.

That's not to say that I think the first batch of SMU students are "all fluff no substance". I think that students who seriously care about studying and doing well in school is as important as a fun-loving and eloquent bunch.

As much as you can say that there's more to university life than studying, let's face it, our main purpose for attending university is to learn a trade and get a degree. If your main purpose for attending university is to make friends, join university social events and recreational clubs and party late every night, then you're wasting your time. There are a million ways to make friends, join clubs and have fun without spending a full 4 years and a hefty university tuition.

Besides, learning can't be done simply by going to class and discussing issues with friends or chatting with your professor. Picking up technical knowledge requires putting a lot of time and serious hard work into reading, studying, thinking and practising. It involves long hours in the library poring through thick books and memorising facts (yes you do need to know some facts at your fingertips).

And face it again, grades are your Key Performance Indicators in school. If you haven't put in the effort and understood your concepts, your grades will show. If you did, your grades will show too. Negative correlation between hard work and results is an anomaly. Negative correlation between knowledge obtained and results is an even more rare anomaly.

At the very least, people who cared about grades will bother to study for it, and in the process, pick up the necessary technical skills and knowledge (which you are supposed to in university anyway). It's really not enough to be able to talk about things or pretend to know them.

Be glad for the muggers, they're setting a standard.

Not that I’m offended by their lack of interest in my views. I find it fascinating to listen to theirs, and I learn a lot by doing so. The other day a heating technician was in our home. He is a man in his late 20s, and we have dealt with him many times. He is a fine problem solver, excellent at what he does, and hard working. Let’s call him Jack.

When the topic came to the economy, Jack began to tell me that the problem was that too many jobs are being shipped overseas. He told me about his father who was a well-paid machinist until age 57 when he lost his job. In Jack’s words “it was shipped overseas.” Jack explained that his dad had no other skills and could do nothing else; when he lost his job, his health began to slip. His father’s diabetes began to flare up, and now his father is on a disability pension.

Somehow the topic turned to computers. Jack explained with a broad smile that he had no use for computers, that he wasn’t any good at them, and that he could never learn them. I was puzzled. Our heating units are very high-tech and Jack was a wiz at fixing them. Where did he get the idea that he could never be good at computers?

As I listened to Jack, I could imagine hearing Jack’s father saying those very words over and over at home while Jack was growing up. Jack’s father’s job didn’t come to a sudden end. Instead, machinists’ jobs were in steady decline over decades. Many times, the topic may have come up about what would Jack’s father do when he finally lost his job. And like a mantra, the hypnotic refrain may have been repeated—I’m only a machinist, that is all I can do, and I can never learn computers.

We are all Jack and we are all Jack’s father. We all are blinded and crippled by at least some limiting beliefs and stories that we tell ourselves about what we can and cannot do. Our beliefs are frequently contradictory and absurd, but they make sense to us. Like Jack, we may shop at Wal-Mart but complain about jobs being lost to China. We may secretly relish being a victim and argue strongly for the story of our victimhood. And we may be waiting for the right politician to save us.

Like many of us, Jack has chosen to adopt at least some of his father’s beliefs about what he can and cannot do. And in that, we find the genesis of the strange passion that many generate over who will be the next president of the United States. Not that there is a real choice, but many are hoping that someone external to themselves can save them.

Obama can’t. Nor can McCain. Only we can challenge our beliefs—beliefs that block us from using the invisible supply of energy that is ready to flow through us.

Invisible supply? Joel Goldsmith writes, “Ideas, inspiration, intelligence, wisdom, service, or love bring about the forms of supply, but they themselves are invisible. Only the results are visible.”

These are qualities that need not be added to us; instead these are qualities that we express. Since we need but allow ourselves to express these qualities, the zero-sum mentality that politicians encourage is corrosive to both the well-being of our nation as well as to each of us. After all, how can someone who is encouraged to see himself as a helpless victim change?

Could Jack or Jack’s father learn computers or another field? Of course. Might it be difficult and time-consuming? Yes, of course. But the invisible supply will work through them, and it will use their talents—if they allow themselves to express their talents. And for that to happen, they first need to drop their stories.

Rose Wilder Lane in her riveting book The Discovery of Freedom writes:

For six thousand years at least, a majority has generally believed in pagan gods. A pagan god, whatever it is called, is an Authority which (men believe) controls the energy, the acts and therefore the fate of all individuals.

The pagan view of the universe is that it is static, motionless, limited and controlled by an Authority. The pagan view of man is that individuals are, and by their nature should and must be, controlled by some Authority outside themselves.

Of course, as Lane demonstrates, this view that others can and should control your energy is false. It results in poverty and misery. Nobody can save us from our own false beliefs.

I've been so focused in my studies I haven't taken the time to reflect upon what I've learned.  I get so tired, mentally, I just want to waste my free time away on things that don't involve much critical thinking.

I've been fairly isolated.  I ventured out with a couple old friends a few weeks back and partook in activities I had not done in at least a year.  It was very strange.  I did a lot of talking and thinking as I always did, but I felt uncomfortable.  I had trouble engaging my peers and I preferred writing my ideas out in general concepts. When I read what I'd written, it was pretty much a review of topics covered in my classes.

What I tapped into during this altered experience just reified how focused I am within academia.  Sometimes it seems like I'm one of those "all or nothing" people.  The more I know myself, the less it seems that I am a multitasker.  Yes, I can do different things within the same period of time, but when it comes to doing something absolutely excellently, I can only focus on one thing.  So far.  My next goal will be to learn to balance all important aspects of my life.  Right now I am just so desperate to complete my BA I can barely think of anything else.

I just had a vision of life being densely packed with many opaque layers.  I'm envisioning it as a sort of flower or fruit.  In this momentary vision, I saw a layer removed.  Age does this.  Experience does this.  In reflection it seems as though my person, my essence, my soul (however you wish to classify it) is born as some thick, densely packed object.  My goal is to reach the center.  That center, to me, is Enlightenment.  But there are so many layers to get through and they are all opaque.  I have no idea what's in the center (Tootsie Roll pop jokes will be checked at the door, please) and I don't know how long it will take to get there.  But I know there is an imperative for me to get there.  I don't know if the imperative is natural/instinctual or learned and it doesn't seem to matter.  I need to get there.

The path to get there is curious.  I think I am over the attempt to arrive there religiously.  As in through an established world/organized religion.  Right now I'd say I've got most of my eggs in the Academic basket, but part of me knows it's not that simple.  I think  I will spend the rest of my life stumbling along, slowly uncovering layers until that final glorious day.   I  have this feeling that  I may only  uncover that final stratum on the day I die, because no human could continue living life as we know it once the truth has been unmasked.

I often wonder if all my contemplation is alienating me or bringing me closer to the human community.  When I am in social situations, which has become rare these days, I feel as though I am a spectator.  Have I already become the anthropologist, the ethnographer? Being an insider has become difficult.  I feel awkward as a participator at times.  I'm not there right now, mentally.

I feel like a balloon that's lost its anchor to the earth and is slowly ascending toward infinity.  I wonder when I shall lose grasp of my corporeal vessel.  (I hope it's not soon.)

Occasionally, I think humans are predictable disappointments.  But I want to focus on what I don't know about us.  I'm really sick of the world the media glorifies.  And it's no surprise I am so disappointed in humanity if what I see on popular tv/film/etc is a reflection of society or of its ideals.  I think that's why I'm so drawn to Anthropology.  I have a desire to learn about cultures that aren't my own and through the study of other cultures, I hope to understand my own better.  But it doesn't just stop at culture.  I want to know why we are the way we are.  It's a pretty lofty ideal.  Maybe I'll never achieve it, but I think I'll have some fun traveling on that road.

Erm... okay.... so I so do not need money!! I hate the stuff... so when can I expect that random million dollar check in the mail?! Ergh, load of rubbish!

Yet, whenever I have entered a competition just for the hell of it.. and completely forgotten about it... I have gone and won!

So wot does this mean for the rest of our lives. The book claimed that if everything at our core was happy and fulfilled then we would not be wanting and thus everything would be & go great. Is this the next new age thinking???? It used to be, 'get focused on your needs and desires, and they will come to you'... so since that is bull and hasn't been working lets try the reverse?! My shattered nerves!!! Come on!!!

Things in this world do not just come to you... you have to be in the right place at the right time (being born rich, for example) or the other option is creating those opportunities yourself!

So don't expect love to come walking thru the door, coz it won't!!! Don't expect your boss to give you a million dollar raise either... coz it probably won't!!!

Okay, enough ranting about nothing!!! But then that's exactly what my blog is about!!!

I've been attracted like a magnet towards service-oriented activities and organizations since I was in college. (It seems like those days are eons ago!) Somehow, I've always felt the need to give something more to those who have less. Even if I really do not have very much of anything. Except stupidity. I seem to have a lot of that. And, of course, I don't give out money. I don't have an abundance of that. In fact, if anyone wants to donate to my very much dukhang account, please be my guest! Dukha is synonymous to pauper or to the poorest of all the poor. Plus, does giving money equate to service? But I'm digressing.

In college, everytime the school needed volunteers for charitable activities (such as repacking of relief goods), I'd try to spare even just a few hours to help. I volunteered as well for an organization which was tasked to prepare and run the bulk of the registration system. This required the ultimate sacrifice for a sloth like me - waking up by 5AM to make it to the 6AM call time. The activities would end around 8 or 9PM. We followed this routine for more than two weeks, if memory serves me right. I didn't even have hot water in the dormitory so I had to shiver all thru out my 15 minute bath and struggle with the soap as it kept slipping out of my numb fingers! Lord!

Law school, of course, was a different matter altogether! No one ever seemed to have enough time to give something or even to just give back. Add to that the stress and the culture of the legal brouhaha... Ugh! I felt so not human! I took up law as I felt it was the nearest profession to medicine, my first true love. I know this is a weird statement. This would entail a much more detailed journal entry, so for now, suffice it to say that I view these professions as requiring severe patience and much outpouring of charity and service. Hence, it was really heartbreaking for me when I realized I veered so far from the utopian dreams I had when I submitted my application form in an institution that supposedly esposued a Christ-centered education.

Oh! Don't get me wrong. I'm not blaming my school for how most Atenean lawyers turn out to be after their 'formative' years in the law school. That is not the fault of the Ateneo, especially since the Ateneo Law School is merely a melting pot of different cultures and personalities molded by myriads of primary and secondary and collegiate education.

But again, I'm digressing.

In the middle of my stay in the law school, I took stock of what my Loyola friends have become. Of what I have become. It was hard to take in that my friends and I have grown into selfish creatures who wished only to further our worldly goals. Some even encapsulated their dreams into this crooked aphorism - Money. Power. Fame. Glory. Selfish, twisted creatures. But I cannot judge. And I am not passing judgment. I cannot claim innocence. But I hurt.

Before I finished my studies, I had the opportunity to set into motion an organization which I hoped would help guide those who have lost their path towards the essence of being true lawyers, true counsels. The organization claims service as one of its tenets. Most of the pioneer members shared this passion for service. But what this organization would become after a few years - I do not have an idea. Would the word 'service' emblazoned on our shield be just a memento of an ideal forgotten as rust creeps in? I wish for the best, but I steel myself from the hurt I know I would feel when the lofty conviction tarnishes.

And now I am called again to serve. This time as the Lord's servant. Oh, it is not what you think. I will not be a nun. That is not my path nor my calling. My task is a much lighter one. I merely need to serve a host of people for 6 full days and intermittently, for a couple of months. I had a taste of this job last August. I did not like it. It was tiring. Draining. It was supposedly for the Lord and for helping other people find the Lord. Instead, shrewd plans for gaining control emerged, impatience grew beyond bounds, and utter discontent ruled. I vowed I would never allow myself to repeat that experience again.

It was a total surprise when I was offered the task of serving full time for the next few months. I never asked for it. But I cannot shirk from it. Service is in my blood. And it already hurts to see other people's hardships that I do not have the heart to leave the task to someone else. I helped build an organization meant to serve other people. It already hurts to see some of the members running away from this principle. I am now being called by an organization meant to serve God. How can I say no? I only pray that I can hold on to my belief until I finish the task. Pray that my faith tides me over onto the next undertaking that would need someone's meager service. Pray that when this is all over, I have served my purpose to the hilt.

Or at least, if not a definition, it's a very good, almost illustrative example of irony in action.

First, there's this:

A Christian fundamentalist group is praying for a deluge to drown out Barack Obama at the Democratic National Convention in two weeks' time.

Focus on the Family is asking for "abundant, torrential" downpours to flood Denver and silence Senator Obama when he accepts the Democratic Party's presidential nomination on August 28.

Then there's this:

The US Republican party's convention has been scaled back as nearly 2m people flee Hurricane Gustav, which is now nearing New Orleans.

It's not necessary to specifically point out the irony here, is it?

I will say this, though. If there is a god, either all those prayers from his faithful somehow got delayed or garbled in transmission, or god is a Democrat. One with a wicked sense of humor. I watched the Democratic convention, and all the speeches and entertainment through the last day, culminating in Obama's speech, and it didn't look like there was a cloud in the sky. The only water from above that remotely threatened the convention was when the Fox News sky box was flooded by a faulty sprinkler system, and again, irony seems to have prevailed. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving news organization.

Sometimes irony can be so delicious.